“It makes every other excuse look like complete garbage.” —Dennis Employerman
This month will bring you luck! Good luck? Bad luck? Neutral luck? Who knows!
“How can I possibly put together fresh material when I’m just telling the same jokes over and over? It’s hopeless!”
What better way to guide than through the mystical art of astrology and subtle mental manipulations?
“Quite honestly it could be hailing fireballs that explode on impact like something out of a shitty Michael Bay movie and I wouldn’t even notice.”
From the burned-out ashes of truth, civility, and an informed democratic student body emerged the Other Press.
One witness who wished to remain anonymous described the scene of the ailing Chiu as “something out of a B-list horror movie.”
I decided to visit the different parts of the train system and see for myself how exaggerated this controversy is.