Ghosting people is okay sometimes

Photo illustration by Lauren Kelly

Photo illustration by Lauren Kelly

Don’t feel bad for cutting certain people out of your life

By Jessica Berget, Opinions Editor


I wholeheartedly support the act of ghosting. It is a popular phenomenon nowadays that applies to all kinds of relationships, not just dating, but what exactly does it mean? Unfortunately, its not as scary as it sounds (depending on if you are the ghoster or ghostee). To ghost someone means to stop texting, messaging, and generally cutting off all communication with someone for whatever reason, permanently. Many people are vehemently against this, calling it rude, lazy, and disrespectful to the other person, but I would argue that ghosting is a perfectly acceptable way to cut people out of your life.

I’m not saying it’s okay to ghost just anyone. Cutting out people who you have a relationship or a history with and not giving an explanation is a crappy thing to do. Even I am guilty of this, I have ghosted a friend before and I still regret not providing any closure. What I’m saying is that it is okay to do this to certain people under certain circumstances. People who are toxic, negative, and/or abusive, people who you have only had one date with or hooked up with once or twice, and people you’ve messaged but have never actually met; these are the kind of situations in which ghosting is completely okay.

I can’t understand how some people would consider ghosting rude—it’s not that bad. If you’ve gone on one date with someone you didn’t really like, it’s not your job to explain to them why you don’t want to see them again, especially if you haven’t committed to a relationship with them. I mean, isn’t one of the perks of being single not having to endure the awkward break-ups and commitment? Those who consider ghosting in situations like this to be disrespectful need a reality check. If you like someone you have only hung out with once or twice and they stop replying to your texts, they probably don’t feel the same way about you. Move on. Additionally, if people keep ghosting you, maybe it’s because of you, and not that they’re rude or lazy. Calling ghosting rude is especially puzzling when you haven’t even met the person yet. One of the best things about online dating is messaging them beforehand so you can decide if going on a date is worth your time and effort. If all you have done is message them back and forth and they decide to stop messaging you, it’s because they’re not interested, and they don’t owe you an explanation as to why.

Sometimes, ghosting someone is the best and only option you have. When someone you know is being hurtful and toxic towards you—whether they mean to be or not—straight up telling them you don’t want to see them anymore could land you in hot water, and sometimes makes the situation even worse. When you have tried every other approach and there’s nothing else you can do about this harmful relationship, ghosting them is sometimes the best option.

Ghosting is also acceptable when the person you are talking to is disrespecting you or your boundaries. Admittedly, I love ghosting people who treat me disrespectfully or overstep their boundaries; I get a sick rise out of it. For instance, some while ago I was texting someone I was about to go on a date with when they asked me “Is your pussy tight?” Try as I might, there was no way I could successfully teach them how scientifically inaccurate and objectifying their question was, and they did not seem willing to learn. At times like these, ghosting is the only answer, and I can guarantee the half-assed apologies they sent me after were much more entertaining than the date ever could ever have been.

To make a long story short; if you have toxic and abusive people in your life, ghost them. Went on one date and didn’t like them? Ghost them. Hooked up with someone once and now they won’t stop texting you? You know what to do. This isn’t a horrible thing to do to someone. Life is short, and you can’t waste what precious time you have explaining to people why you don’t like them.

The Other Press

The Other Press, Douglas College's student newspaper since 1976. Articles, insight and updates from the New West and Coquitlam campuses.

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