Celebrate!

… good tears, come on

By Eric Wilkins, Assistant Editor

Middle linebacker Stephen Tulloch of the Detroit Lions will finish his season on the injured reserve after tearing his ACL in a game against the Green Bay Packers. An ACL tear is one of the worst injuries that can befall an athlete and is definitely no laughing matter. Tulloch has been strong in the aftermath of his injury though.

“I’d do it again, brother. You do it every time. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. Just a matter of time,” said Tulloch to the Detroit Free Press. Said like a true warrior. No hesitation in wanting to lay his body on the line for the team again.

Except that Tulloch’s injury wasn’t due to a play in the game. It was his celebration that did him in. Shades of the immortal Bill Gramática come to mind. The now former-NFL-active-leader in consecutive games played at linebacker (131) has received a great deal of flak for his embarrassing end to his season and his comments about it, but he shouldn’t. It’s not as if the man tried to pull off a gymnastics routine following his sack of Aaron Rodgers. Not even a backflip. He was just performing an overenthusiastic rendition of Rodgers’ Discount Double Check.

Obviously, hindsight being 20/20, Tulloch wouldn’t do it again at that moment if he knew he was going to tear his ACL, but he’s saying he’s not going to stop celebrating just because of one freak injury. Relative to other over-the-top exultations, Tulloch’s was tame. Giving a man grief for an unfortunate accident is unnecessary. Moving on.

Flogging this hung, dried, and quartered horse one final time before it’s completely gone, I’d like to say that it’s highly unlikely that the Washington Redskins name was intended as an affront at its conception. Hear me out. I’m going to write out a line of reasoning with broccoli; feel free to substitute the actual party in discussion wherever you see fit.

I hate broccoli. I hate broccoli so much that I’m going to name a sports team after it. This sports team will wear broccoli logos on their helmets and have matching uniforms to boot. Fans of the squad will wear broccoli merchandise and cheer on the team raucously with chants such as, “Go broccoli!” Under the name broccoli, this organization will perform a number of charitable deeds in the community while its players try to be role models for young athletes. Players will be proud to be members of broccoli.

Wish the whole “praise those whom you hate” fad caught on as well elsewhere. Also food for thought, here’s some inoffensive terms: African-American; Japanese, Chinese, Korean—Asian; Indian; Aboriginal; white. Black, yellow, brown, and red are racist. Why not white?