Birthday blues
By Kirsten Scott-Wuori, Columnist
Did you forget to wear a shirt today? Did you wear too many shirts today? Were you so hungry after lunch that you found yourself eating barely-trash Timbits from the cafeteria garbage can? Did you get your period in any memorable way? We want to know about it. We know that there are times in your life when you look at yourself and you can barely believe the shameful person looking back at you—but don’t worry! There’s absolutely absolution in sharing. Get it off your chest. Send us your most cringe-worthy confessions at humour@theotherpress.ca, and spread the shame.
I hate going to the liquor store anytime in the week surrounding my birthday. That seems silly, right? Going to the liquor store around one’s birthday says that you are doing something fun for your birthday—drinks with friends, a party, something other than eating ice cream on your bedroom floor alone. But the reason I hate going to the liquor store around my birthday actually has to do with the interactions with the check-out clerk.
My aversion to the liquor store around my birthday all stems from one clerk at the BCL near my house. If you live in the Coquitlam/Port Coquitlam area you might be familiar with this particular employee. He is known by patrons and now by the local news as The Singing Guy.
I met The Singing Guy two years ago, a couple of days before my birthday. When he looked at my ID he noticed that my birthday was only a couple of days away and this realization prompted him to break into an opera-inspired rendition of “Happy Birthday.” I know I should have been happy that someone was acknowledging my birthday in such a public way; however, this was a liquor store on a Saturday afternoon: it was packed. I awkwardly thanked him and made a beeline for the door.
Since that day my boyfriend and I rock-paper-scissors for who gets to stay in the car and who has to go into the store—just in case.
— Amanda, 26, Coquitlam
