Summer is nothing more than a construct of the Illuminati

The global elite control the world by buying the sun

By Mercedes Deutscher, Staff Writer

Call me crazy, but I don’t believe in summer.

It never used to get so hot between the months of June and September. Children used to be in school all year long. Now, people scramble to take vacations, buy summer clothes, and drink cold beverages. These things make money for the elite. Coincidence? I think not.

We are nothing more than slaves to capitalism, and summer is responsible.

We are becoming brainwashed into thinking that summer is the time to have fun, sing songs, and bask in the warmth of the sun. It must be something in suntan lotion that penetrates our brains and forces us to enjoy the summer.

Combined with the Illuminati-owned sun and drugged suntan lotion, the global elite further control the masses by spiking our ice cream. Do you ever wonder why lactose-intolerant people don’t eat ice cream? Don’t be fooled, there’s no such thing as dairy allergies. These so-called “lactose-intolerant” citizens are really just “Illuminati-intolerant.” I think that more of us should follow their lead.

People laugh at me when I am the palest person in the middle of July. Yet I laugh at them. While the sun is controlling them, I am keeping myself pure and free.

I refuse to go to the beach. Volleyball isn’t some innocent sport to be played on the sand. In reality, there are recorders and microphones in the balls. This also goes for beach balls.

Just to be extra cautious, I have learned not to trust towels. Beach towels are contaminated with the Illuminati. I don’t even use other towels. It’s not worth the risk. I have decided that I just won’t shower in the summer months.

Have you ever listened closely to Katy Perry’s “California Girls”? “It must be something in the water.” That must mean no water is safe, for either showers or drinking (unless I boil it).

People, seemingly ignorant to this suspicious concept of summer days, question nothing. I refuse to be a tool in their game. The Illuminati are trying to steal my money, my freedom, and my sanity. The joke is on them. While others will don sun hats, I will don an aluminum hat.

I warn my fellow citizens to be careful this “summer.” Trust no one. Not everything is as it seems. There are only three seasons: winter, spring, and fall. The Illuminati want you to believe that summer exists, but don’t be fooled. Be informed and stand up to the system.