What is the golden rule for moving in with your partner?
By Morgan Hannah, Life & Style Editor
Moving in with my boyfriend was a surprisingly easy thing to do, but Iâm pretty sure thatâs because I didnât mind being completely immersed within his home and his stuff. I didnât feel compelled to take any of my furniture with me, just the books, clothes, computer, and knick-knacks. In hindsightâwhich is always clearerâmy furniture was brand-new and well looked after and wouldâve definitely been a nice addition to what was now âourâ space. But would it have been accepted? Itâs hard to say whether there would have been a place for my pastel rainbow bed sheets.
Moving in with your partner is an exciting new milestone to hit, and one that can often be made rather hastily when thinking about the bright sideâall the cuddles, cooking breakfasts together, picking out wall paint, and all the movie nights one could ever want! However, itâs also important to have open communication about a couple of things before you take the plunge and sign a one-year lease together.
One major thing to think about when moving in with your partnerâwhich shouldnât change the green light to red but rather to yellowâis that living together will be different from hanging out together, or when youâre just out on a date. Just because you mesh well on the outside, doesnât mean that every day will be like that on the inside. So, what exactly are the rules for moving in with your partner? Iâd argue that there is truly only one: Speak up.
Making sure you say what you need from your partner to make combined living arrangements work is essential, as is really listening to them when they tell you what theyâre feeling and what they need. Open communication is necessary for a whole range of things, from how the bills and chores will be divided, to when itâs okay to have house guests over, regulating screen time, and making sure both of you are on the same page about eating habitsâarguably one of the most important things there is to talk about, besides finances and intimacy of course. If youâre a vegetarian and theyâre not, talk about how you can make this work.
These arenât always the easiest topics to discuss as they mean opening up about income, debt, habits, and other vulnerabilities, as well as the possibility of feeling like youâre stepping on your partnerâs toes. Maybe you might even feel worried that your partner thinks youâre trying to change themâthis too is something very worthy of bringing up. Moving in together means you must be able to comfortably talk about money, how much alone time you might need, and who scrubs the toilet versus who washes the dishes. If the comfort with speaking up isnât there, itâs something you need to figure out and develop before signing that lease.
Trusting that your partner has your best interests in mind makes it easier to open up about the things that you might have felt safer with them not knowing about. Believe me, it can be awkward. I remember the conversation I avoided having with my boyfriend about my asthma, and did I ever feel silly for prolonging that one! Talking about it, whatever it is, should bring you both closer together and make the smaller topics easier to navigateâlike whether your pastel rainbow bed sheets make the cut or not.
