Diary of a Zombie Lover

Humor_ZombieLove_final

Lucy’s Diary: DO NOT READ!!!

September 1, 2020

I saw another one of them across the street today. I’m going to name him Fransisco. Even though he had some poor dumb-ass’ intestines in his mouth, he was still so hot! If he didn’t eat people, I would be all over that.  Believe it or not, cannibalism is a real turnoff for me. Yeah, I know I shouldn’t write this down, but I can’t help that I love almost everything about zombies. From their slow walk and groaning, to the gurgling noises they make. So badass. I sure hope my human boyfriend doesn’t find this. If you’re reading this, Bill, haven’t you heard of privacy? Also, stop snoring in your sleep. You sound like a zombie who’s totally not hot. Also, I think we should start seeing other people.

September 2, 2020

Nobody gets me; not even my trigger-happy dictator of a dad. He loves killing zombies. I mean, it’s actually fun for him. I know because he told me. I wish Fransisco would come and eat him. I wonder how he’s doing…

September 3, 2020

Bill, I’m sorry I convinced you to go outside the barrier to search for food. RIP. I found Fransisco again today at the edge of the safe zone. He actually ate Bill! Hope he didn’t taste too bad. Fransisco’s eyes were all white and determined. Something about him was different. He didn’t chase after me like he normally did. He just stood there, staring at me. I tried to get closer to him but he kept moving away from me. Maybe he doesn’t like my beautiful, blonde hair.

September 4, 2020

Fransisco’s eyes are changing. They’re becoming greener than my new hair dye. He’s become completely docile and he even listened to me. I told him to eat my dad for me. Of course, I had to use the scraps of Bill that I took home yesterday. I’m starting to feel like I’ve done something significant, but I have yet to find out.

September 5, 2020

I wonder what Fransisco’s thinking-AAAAA…(Contributor’s note~ Lucy’s diary was later found at the wall. The pages were all torn up and bloody. Her family said that Lucy’s diary was a part of her; now the diary will always have a part of Lucy.)

With files from Steven Cayer