Why it’s always too early to be pretentious over coffee
By Mercedes Deutscher, Staff Writer
For many, coffee is the only thing that gives them sanity in the morning. Feeling tired? Drink coffee. Want something more? Grab a latte. Really desperate? Take shots of espresso.
While it may not matter to you where you get your coffee, it matters to some. Take That Guy, for example. They will only go to some organic, free trade, vegetarian café on Commercial Drive to get their triple shot, half decaf, soy milk, no whip, no foam, sugar-free vanilla latte—all in their own personal cup.
Ordering this drink isn’t the issue, however, That Guy will then shove their caffeinated and pretentious view upon everyone they see, especially if the victim isn’t drinking the same coffee they are.
Dost thou order a coffee from Tim Hortons? Your coffee is like water, and an overly funded scheme to make you seem “more Canadian” and patriotic.
Do you drink Starbucks? Starbucks coffee is to0 strong and tastes like dirt water. Why would you pay $5 to buy from a previously unethical company? Do you know how much sugar goes into a Frappuccino?
Blenz? You’ve got to be kidding! You must’ve been desperate and really rolling in dough.
Don’t even get That Guy started if you don’t carry a personal cup. You might as well join the “We hate the environment” club.
Why should it matter what brand of coffee you like to drink? The truth is that it shouldn’t. Drink the coffee that makes you happy. After all, each chain of cafés (as well as locally owned cafés) have something special about them that draws in customers.
So many factors are in play when people decide where to get their coffee. For someone who likes simple beverages at a low price, they may choose Tim Hortons. Someone who enjoys customization may visit Starbucks. Someone who is looking for some unique flavours not found in either of the larger chains may opt for a coffee from Blenz. A person who prefers to support local businesses or just has an out-of-the-ordinary favourite coffee shop will visit their choice café instead of a corporate one.
Perhaps where you get coffee is dependent on convenience. Not for me though. When I go to the campus in the morning, I will stop inside the Starbucks in New Westminster Station because I prefer Starbucks to the Tim Hortons downstairs. My best friend, however, would opt for Tim Hortons instead.
Neither of our choices in coffees are better than the other, because our favourite coffee is the best to us. When we wake up in the morning, coffee is often the first thing on the mind. Shouldn’t that first sip be what is best for us and not for That Guy?
Drink on, comrades.
