Don’t be that guy: Spontaneous to a fault

Image via Thinkstock
Image via Thinkstock

The adverse effects of disregarding organization and responsibility

By Mercedes Deutscher, Staff Writer

Let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with being spontaneous. I do not consider myself to be spontaneous, but I admire it in other people. In fact, I find the idea of spontaneity a romantic and exciting one. I may decide on a whim one day to take a day trip somewhere just because I can, and I’ll have a fun time doing it.

That being said, it’s important to recognize the difference between being spontaneous and being irresponsible.

That Guy will often slough off their responsibilities to do something else, whether it’s short notice or very short notice. That Guy will decide to go on vacation the week a big assignment is due, or without giving a few weeks’ notice at their workplace. They never constrain themselves to any kind of schedule, and expect that others will either disregard their schedule or be prudish.

Irresponsible spontaneity doesn’t just apply to running off somewhere. It takes place in day-to-day life. For example, it’s fine to ask some friends on a whim if they want to come over to watch movies, but if you’re suddenly deciding to throw a party on Friday night and it’s Friday morning, chances are it’s going to lead to disappointment. Your friends will feel guilty about turning down your invitation, because your intentions aren’t bad. Yet it is too short notice, and it will lead to you feeling disappointed.

Making really exciting spontaneous plans, such as planning an extensive vacation with others within a week, may even upset those you’d like to join. One week or even two weeks’ notice for a vacation is too short. People don’t want to lose their job or have their grades drop because you want to go on a trip.

As much fun as it is to be spontaneous, the fact is that we live in a society ruled by time. Time rules when we work, learn, and hang out with loved ones. It’s fine to be spontaneous every so often, but remember who you are affecting when you make impulsive decisions. Unless it only affects you, you should keep your spontaneous plans saved for less constrained times.

If you take care of your responsibilities first, the time to be spontaneous will come.