#StarbucksDrakeHands & the fickle art of digital seduction
By Sharon Miki, Columnist
When it comes to romance, thereâs always a chance that the person youâre interested in isnât going to feel the same way about you. Learning this information often comes at a cost: you put yourself out there, and the object of your affection either wants it or not. If not, you dust yourself off and move onâcâest la vie, etc. So why would any sane person risk immortalizing their own digital rejection for the entire world to see?
The most recent case of romantic digital fontrum to sweep the web is #StarbucksDrakeHands. Basically, a barista named Brody Ryan asked a hot lady customer for her number. She gave it to him. A few days later, Ryan texted his crush a video of himself staring intently into the camera and wiping his hands dramatically on his face; all to the baby-making bass of Drakeâs song âHold On, Weâre Going Home.â
The girl wasnât interested, but she did forward Ryanâs video to her friends to make fun of him. One of her friends posted the video on Instagram, and voila! It instantly went viral, with millions of strangers laughing at Ryanâs earnest attempt to get a date. The hashtag #StarbucksDrakeHands was born, and within days there were hundreds of parody videos popping up. Poor guy.
As mean-spirited as I think it was of the girl to share this guyâs (albeit really stupid and embarrassing) digital seduction-gram with her friends, I place the blame firmly on Ryanâs shoulders. Itâs sad, but we live in a social-sharable world where you canât trust anyoneâparticularly a total strangerâto not exploit your sincerity or vulnerability.
Even people who take private photos while in relationships can never be sure if their exposure could later be used against them. Earlier this month in California, a bill was signed to outlaw ârevenge porn,â which is a sub-genre of pornography in which bitter exes post relics, made during happier times, on the Internet. If this type of pornography has reached a level that the government needs to outlaw it, itâs insidious. While I imagine that many of the jerks sharing revenge porn are also the types to film people without their knowledge, I am also willing to bet that many of the images and videos were taken in the name of trust and romance.
There is a difference between bravery and stupidity. Hitting the record button doesnât automatically guarantee you success; it merely puts you at risk for becoming a laughing stock. Sure, Brody Ryan may have found his 15 minutes of viral fame. In doing so, however, he sacrificed his emotional integrity.
Call me a prude (hey, itâs better than being called a prune!), but the best defence against public humiliation when it comes to romance is to not digitize or publicize it. If you want to make a grand romantic gesture Ă la Lloyd Dobler and his infamous boom box, go for it. Just donât do it in front of a camera. If your romantic goal is to interact with someone you like, maybe the best thing to do is to just interact with them, sans camera.
