Not all cheaters are instantly the worst

Why people aren’t faithful

By Cazzy Lewchuk, Opinions Editor

Cheating is generally considered to be one of the worst things one can do to another in a relationship.

It’s not only breaking the bonds of the relationship, but it’s a huge betrayal of a person’s trust. As anyone who’s been cheated on knows, it can create deep trust issues and emotional scars for years afterwards. It can negate the build-up of trust that sometimes takes years in a relationship.

But why do people cheat? What drives them to seek a romantic/sexual arrangement outside of their established partnership?

While each situation is different, most cheat because they’re unsatisfied. They no longer find complete fulfillment in their current arrangement, and have to have their needs met through someone else.  Communication and honesty are important to any relationship, and that those values are usually absent when cheating goes on. Many cheaters are too cowardly or dishonest to talk to their partners about their needs. Others try, but are met with a lack of understanding, or even hostility.

Not having your needs met in a relationship is much more common than one would think. One answer could be a non-monogamous situation, in which the parties are allowed to see other people while maintaining their existing relationship. These arrangements are becoming more common, though are still frowned upon or not understood by many. I’d be willing to bet cheating is a lot more common than most people think, too: many who cheat on their partners will never have the other find out, and many more are forgiven.

Breaking trust with your partner is not a good thing to do. Cheating should not be encouraged, but it can be justified if the current situation is unfixable. It’s important to have your needs met. If your partner is unable to fulfill them, even after clearly communicating the problem, is it any wonder people seek to find them somewhere else?

Breaking up isn’t always the easiest or correct answer. It’s a lot easier to find someone who gives you things your partner can’t/won’t than it is to leave your partner and then seek those things out. It’s true what they say: breaking up is hard to do. Also, in some cases, a person is trapped in a relationship. This could be due to an abusive situation, or simply a financial/emotional dependency on being with someone else.

Ideally, everyone has a solid and healthy bond with their partner, and doesn’t need to cheat. Cheating is still questionable and downright hurtful in many cases. Some cheaters do it simply because they can, and have no regard for their partner’s feelings about it. Obviously, such cases should be condemned. But relationships, especially unfulfilling ones, are difficult things to navigate. Affairs happen for a reason.