School of Thought: Preferred partners

By Natalie Serafini, Opinions Editor

A newspaper issue on sex wouldn’t be complete without getting down to the bare bones of why we ain’t nothin’ but mammals: attraction, lust, and plain ol’ desire. But let’s be honest, us Douglas College students are far from desperate. We can afford to be selective in our partners, so what makes for an ideal partner? Do we look for looks? Humour and wit? Intelligence? Know-how in the bedroom and out? Is there some other quality that gets our engines revving? And of course, a question on preferred partners and deal breakers necessitates the question: does size matter?

The response from students was generally that a good person makes a good partner. When asked what makes for an ideal partner, Kevin Yee said, “Not an asshole.” Yee then continued, stating, “It’s gotta be someone you get along with.”

Carissa felt it wasn’t a good idea to list ideal qualities. She said, “I don’t want to set standards, right? Because what if you can’t meet them? Not everybody follows the criteria that you’re looking for.”

Tamryn agreed, stating, “Every girl has a dream guy, but you’re not going to get everything on your list.”

For others, like Sonia, it was difficult to say what quality would make her like or dislike a potential partner: “I honestly don’t know.”

Manmeet said it comes down to “honesty.”

Similarly, Lucas Atchinson also valued a truthful partner. He said, “Honesty. More than that, just loyalty, because if you can’t really trust someone or trust them to be loyal, it’s hard to actually have a relationship…That and, people who usually say appearance usually get frowned upon, but everyone goes for appearance a little bit. But it’s not a main factor. I do look for loyalty and a good sense of humour and stuff like that. Just things that make a quality person, not just looks.”

Emily understood the importance of spending time with people who have good music taste, saying, “Bad music taste … not liking The Beatles, that would be a deal breaker for me.”

For Megan, the question of deal breakers was complicated. She said, “Well, if you like someone then you kind of just accept them, you know? You love the way they are, so you wouldn’t want them to change, right? Sometimes it might be a bit hard, but then you kind of have to go with it and adjust.”

On the matter of size and if it’s important, Carissa said, “No. I have a friend who’s been through that or is still going through that where her partner or whatever’s so much bigger, but I mean, it doesn’t really affect it. Seeing that, I don’t think it should.”

In general, qualities like intelligence, humour, and some physical appeal act as a good base for partner preference, but apart from that you can’t plan out whom you’ll like. I’ve had plenty of deal breakers that were made to be broken: if you like the person, it doesn’t matter if their political views are completely different, they only ever eat Kraft Dinner, or they’re not a cat person. Beyond discerning that they’re a good person and will treat you right, you have to enter a first date, a relationship, or a one-night stand open to the possibility of liking someone you wouldn’t have thought you could.