Shatterville

By Bex Peterson, Editor-in-Chief

 

They couldnā€™t pay you to stay here

(and itā€™s not like they tried).

It wouldnā€™t be worth the ghosts

of concrete, ripped up in the aftermath;

abandoned basketball hoops,

that one place we hid in the bushes

when we were small enough that the juniper boughs

stretched like trees above

our dirty little heads.

 

The buses are always full to bursting

(everyoneā€™s trying to get out of the suburbs).

It takes three bridges to get anywhere good

and youā€™re always a little too late or

three hours too early.

 

We drove past his house last night

(and past a cop car: ā€œDrugs, probably,ā€ you said, bored).

You told me he moved north, that the Jeeps in the driveway

werenā€™t his. I offered to fight him

and was drunk enough to mean it.

 

Hell; Iā€™d fight him anyway.

 

Just like the guy I buy beer from at the store up the road;

in high school he called me a slut and I slapped

a red handprint in his pockmarked cheek.

Now I hand him my money and

we donā€™t make eye contact.

 

(I think we both thought weā€™d be somewhere else by now.)

 

They couldnā€™t pay me to stay here

(and itā€™s not like they try).

The forest eats our secrets

but the bad memories never keep to the shadows

because it all went down in broad daylight

and that was the worst part.

 

But itā€™s a scrappy kind of place

and Iā€™m a scrappy kind of person.

I donā€™t hate it nearly as much as I want to

and I donā€™t hate it nearly as much as I pretend.