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‘Everyone has the right to life—especially zombies!’

In a move that most analysts are describing as “confusing,” “gross,” and “fairly insane,” a group of self-proclaimed “neo-pro-life activists” are calling upon city hall to exhume long-buried graves in the hopes of giving everyone—even people who have been dead forever—a chance at life.

New Year’s resolutions you may have forgotten

While wanting to spend more time with loved ones, aiming to lose weight, or spending less money over the new year may be on top of your list of resolutions, you may have forgotten some important ones…