Artists that just donât make the mark
By Cazzy Lewchuk, Opinions Editor
I listen to a lot of classic rock. I appreciate a variety of genres, but the 1960sâ1990s era will forever be the best time in music for me. I grew up on a lot of the essential groups, and on rock radio. A lot of great bands filled my ears from a young age. Today, I continue to appreciate these groups, but there are some that really do not deserve the amount of attention they get. Every time they come on the radio, I die a little on the inside.
AC/DC
Letâs be honest, guys: All of their songs sound pretty much the same. Bon Scottâs legacy and untimely death can be remembered, but itâs been 35 years of unfiltered noise since then. I can appreciate dirty deeds being done dirt cheap, but if I have to listen to angry screechy vocals from Brian Johnson (or as of recently, Axl Rose, of all people) for more than five minutes⌠well, I thought torture was illegal.
KISS
If they didnât have the makeup, they wouldâve faded out 40 years ago. KISSâ live shows and entire band image focus on them being the kings of glam (now that Bowie is gone, at least). The makeup is pretty cool, but it doesnât make up for cookie-cutter vocals and forgettable tracks. Not to mention their egos based on being the makeup guysâtheir live shows introduce them as âthe best band in the world.â You used to drive us wild in the â70s, but now you just drive us crazy.
U2
Somehow these guys have remained youthful activists being pretty much worshipped for three decades. Theyâve got a few lovely songs, but theyâre really not cutting-edge or innovative anymore. Theyâre playing the same poppy, oversaturated rhythm they played 30 years ago, but continue to have bigger egos than the massive stadiums they somehow sell out. But hey, Bono, you canât be a charity and environmental activist unless youâre worth hundreds of millions and set a major carbon footprint through international tours every year, right?
Metallica
They had one or two good albums 25 years ago, but how they remain relevant is beyond me. Their new music consistently fails, even to diehard fans, and their off-stage behaviour (such as suing fans for downloading their music) doesnât help. They were recently named ambassadors for Record Store Dayâbecause todayâs vinyl-playing youth just love spinning Metallica. They might be light metal pioneers, but they donât have a place in metal today.
Adele
She has a beautiful singing voice. Thatâs about it. Literally all of her songs sound the same and donât take any risks whatsoever. On one of her three nearly identical albums, she couldâve had a jazz band or something slightly upbeat playing behind her. Adele squanders her singing voice on 50 songs all about some kind of breakup. Sheâs talented, but sheâs not some sort of game changer.
Queen
OK, I actually dig Queen a lot. A Night at the Opera is one of the greatest albums of the era, ever. But Iâm putting them on the list solely for the fact that âBohemian Rhapsodyâ is overplayed as hell. When you start hearing it in things like Suicide Squad, maybe itâs time to reign the wheels in a bit. It is a great song. Letâs not ruin it by putting it literally everywhere. I heard it at a club on a Friday night. I donât think itâs what Freddie wouldâve wanted.
