Post-holiday drinking apocalypse
By Keating Smith, Staff Writer
Several weeks ago, I wrote an article about how I achieved 100 days without consuming one drop of alcohol, offering advice from my experience. My choice to be sober came after I decided that alcohol was a complete burden in my life. Although the holiday season was (at times) a challenge to keep from taking part in the “cause of/solution to all of life’s problems,” I charged through using some creative, sometimes hilarious, techniques that I will now share with you, along with some personal examples.
1) No one cares if you aren’t drinking
People tend to focus solely on themselves when they get drunk. Although people may call you a few choice words or try to slip you a drink if they become aware of your dry night, ignore it and understand that the night will most likely be just as ridiculous. Bonus points if you can add fuel to the mayhem of drunken debauchery in a sober frame of mind.
2) Live in the moment
Interesting and fascinating events still occur when you’re sober, and even more so when you are at a party, bar, or dance club. If some drunken stranger pulls you aside to dance or to examine the inside of your mouth with their tongue then just go or don’t go with it. You are sober and can make your own decision as to what is right and wrong.
3) Babysit your intoxicated friends
This may sound more like an arduous chore than a pleasure, but if you put the right spin on this, you can have a lot of fun. For example, if you are in some type of “drinking establishment” and your buddy is being indecisive about talking to someone they found attractive, start messing his or her mind. I find that when people are intoxicated they have no real concept of what the hell is going on around them, so they will for the most part believe anything you tell them. Another side to babysitting drunk friends is that you can make decisions like you normally would; thus when you decide it’s time to get out of a bad situation or that you’ve had enough at 4 a.m., you have the power to call the shots and your sober decisions will seem extremely logical or even brilliant to them.
4) Be spontaneous
Similar to my second point, spouting off random actions and words while surrounded by drunken people is a liberating feeling and receiving a mixed reaction is even better. If you think that attempting to freestyle rap while playing floor hockey with kitchen utensils at a house party is in your cards that night, then go for it.
5) Don’t stop having fun
I cannot emphasize enough that this is the most important tip I can share with you. If you think one of the only ways you can have fun in life is by drinking, then you are wrong. I said and did some of the funniest, craziest, and most spontaneous things I have ever done in my life this past holiday season, and I will never forget them.
I urge you to be cautious when surrounded by drinking while sober. If you feel uncomfortable or have the urge to cave, then you have to make a decision as to whether you want to leave or join in. If you have the willpower to refrain, I commend you. On the other hand, if you cave and decide to join in, then maybe sobriety is not for you. Sobriety, in my opinion, equals no hangovers, no drama, more money, and the everlasting quest to answer some very deep questions in life. Alcohol has no part of this.