Why you need to lay off the horn
By Natalie Serafini, Opinions Editor
Honking has become many peopleâs idea of a useful tool for communicating interest, frustration, and greeting. While honking probably doesnât cause as many crashes as talking on the phone or texting do, itâs still annoying and, as a form of communication, accomplishes very little. Humour me if you will, whilst I wax apoplectic over the many honk-happy happenings that need to stop.
Do you honk when you see an attractive person walking down the street? Donât. I understand, there are plenty of hotties walkinâ around, and apparently your instinctual reaction is to honk at them. Nevertheless, it accomplishes nothing in terms of getting a phone number and mostly makes you look like a fool. If your reason for honking is as simple as âHey hot girl! HONK!â then just donât do it.
I have this thing where I donât run for things, even if Iâm crossing the street and a car honks at me to move faster. If I have the right-of-way, I walk across the street; thereâs no sprinting on my part. To start, you donât have the right to be impatient since, in all likelihood, you will be arriving at your destination before I do and with much less energy than I will have to expend. Iâm doing something good for the environment by not driving, and youâre going to get irritated because I canât walk at 50 miles/hour? In fact, when someone honks at me to walk faster, I purposely slow my pace. Allow me to explain: you know when youâre walking somewhere and thereâs a large group of people coming your way? They donât go single file, essentially forcing you onto the grass. Rather than just move over to avoid shoulder bumping awkwardness, you remain stubbornly on the sidewalk. You might even stretch your muscles imperceptibly to ensure some sort of bump, just to show them that you wonât be forced to the side. Itâs kind of crazy, right? Pretty passive aggressive and such. Nonetheless, itâs what I do. So truly, honking to get me to cross the street faster is ridiculous because I can neither move as quickly as youâd like me to, nor am I willing to speed up just for your contentment. Donât bother honking.
Donât honk a greeting as you drive past. If you recognize me, itâs not too surprising. I live in New West, go to school in New West, work in New West, and exercise in New West. Most likely, you know me in one of those contexts, which makes your spotting me in New West quite unsurprising. So really, why are you astonished enough to honk hello? I truly wouldnât mind if you didnât acknowledge my presence, particularly since being blocked by a metal and glass cocoon makes recognizing you nearly impossible. The only way I could figure out who you are is if I have your license plate or car type memorized, and you flatter me if you think Iâd be capable of that. My vision is certainly not good enough to discern a quickly receding âEâ from a âB,â and my familiarity with cars begins and ends with âItâs green.â Especially if youâre doing a honk and run whilst driving down a busy street, how do you expect me to know who you are? Itâs the roadrunner on steroids: âmeep meepâ-ing and zooming off into the distance. Please just donât do  it.
The thing about honking is that itâs abrasive and annoying enough when itâs actually serving its purpose. The fact that this mode of communication has dissolved into some sort of catch-all means that cacophony of beeps is all the louder and more frequent. Thereâs a time and a place for honking. Brood before you beep.