Legitimacy of winners called into question

‘Family Feud’ contestants demand a recount

By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor

Following the devastating yet hilarious mix up at the Miss Universe pageant last December, when Steve Harvey wrongly crowned the runner-up, many contestants from Harvey’s game show Family Feud are calling into question the legitimacy of their own televised losses.

“If he could get something as simple as that wrong, who’s to say he hasn’t misunderstood who the winner would be in a much more complicated system, like the points in Family Feud?” asked Stacy Brown, the mother from the Brown family, which suffered a humiliating loss to the Jones family on the show’s most recent episode.

“I think the whole damn thing is rigged anyways,” said Brown. “Why the hell wouldn’t you want to bring peanuts on a picnic? I do it all the time! That Steve Harvey fella must have gotten something all wrong.”

The Brown family are not the only ones hoping to gain some redemption—or prize money—in the wake of Harvey’s recent mix up. “I just think after something like that, no one should trust a word that comes out of that man’s mouth, or that ever has, for that matter,” said Jim Striker, the father of the Striker clan. Striker had gained a small amount of Internet fame after attempting to violently attack the young children of the family that beat them in the game show, the Goodwells. “If he hadn’t wrongly stated that my family lost, which we didn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten so infuriated, or have spent that time in prison. Steve Harvey stole my life from me, and I demand action from the courts to rectify this situation.”

Striker also stated that, if the legal system doesn’t find a way to crown his family as the winners of the game show, there are some friends he made while doing his time that may have some influence in the matter. “One way or another, that $3,200 prize money is mine.”

Multiple court cases have been set up, and hours of Family Feud footage is to be watched by Canada’s Supreme Court judges over the next few weeks. “No matter is more pressing than clearing the reputation of a family,” said Supreme Court judge Phillip Gniles. “We will work day in and day out watching Family Feud until we get to the very bottom of this issue.” Steve Harvey has declined to comment, but is scheduled to be present at all 43 court cases against him.