Party in the USA

Prime Minister Trudeau tours the United States

By, Jake Wray, Columnist

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has embarked on a high-profile tour of the United States after his highly successful state visit with President Barack Obama.

Officials from the White House set Trudeau up with an American Express Centurion card, a year’s supply of Gogurt, and a free iPad for the trip that will see the Prime Minister and his entourage make a number of special stops including a visit to Disneyland, a tour of Area 51, and a chance to hang out with rapper Snoop Dogg.

A source at the White House, who wished to remain anonymous because they were not authorized to speak to media, told the Other Press that Obama wanted to give Trudeau the full American experience.

“We said to Justin, ‘Clear your schedule because you are going to have a blast.’ He and Barack are thick as thieves, and it just made sense to show him all the cool stuff our country has to offer,” said the source, as approximately 15 per cent of Americans languished in poverty. “We pulled out all the stops for this one.”

The first stop on the tour is Los Angeles, where Trudeau will visit the set of Star Wars Episode VIII, sit court-side at a Lakers game, and make an appearance on Ellen before spending a weekend at Disneyland. In a press conference at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles’ Beverly Hills, Trudeau’s chief of staff Katie Telford said the prime minister is really, really excited.

“This is an absolutely unbelievable opportunity, and one that he is so grateful to have been given,” said Telford. “Personally, I am looking forward to skipping the lines at Disneyland.”

Sophie Grégoire-Trudeau, the Prime Minister’s wife, said from Ottawa that she wasn’t sure why Trudeau didn’t invite his family on the trip.

“I don’t really care about going on the tour myself, but he could have at least brought the kids. I mean, he’s going to Disneyland, for fuck’s sake,” said Grégoire-Trudeau.

Rapper Snoop Dogg, who is hiding in a closet on Trudeau’s jet with an MTV camera crew, is planning to surprise the Prime Minister.

“It’s gonna be reeeeal good. Justin is my boy right here, he’s gonna legalize the marry-hwanna up there in Canada, so I’ma bust out of this closet when he’s least expectin’ and give him a good laugh,” said Dogg.

After Los Angeles, the Trudeau contingent will head to Nevada where they will hang out in Vegas and hit the casinos for a couple days, before touring Area 51. White House officials promise that visiting the classified military site will “blow the Prime Minister’s mind.”