The Dungeon Burger

Storm Crow Alehouse sets itself apart

By Brittney MacDonald, Life and Style Editor

As a practicing pescatarian (someone who doesn’t eat meat except for seafood) it isn’t often I say this, but I’m in love with a burger.

Last February saw the opening of the Storm Crow Alehouse, the larger, more accessible sister restaurant to much beloved nerd-bar the Storm Crow Tavern. Everyone flocked to experience the welcoming as well as nostalgic ambience, and try out the themed cocktails and ridiculously-titled food. All in all, the new restaurant was met with some high praise, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

The Alehouse needed its own thing, something to set it apart from its predecessor. Enter the Dungeon Burger—a build-your-own style masterpiece that can all be decided with a few rolls of a D20. The concept is pretty simple: the waitress gives you a sheet of various instructions that list different types of buns, toppings, elite toppings, sauces, and sides, and you roll a dice to determine what will be on your burger. Now you could just select your toppings, but where’s the fun in that?

Now for me, because I don’t eat meat besides fish, I didn’t hold out much hope. Most of the time vegetarian/pescatarian friendly options for burgers at restaurants are incredibly gross. You end up munching on some sort of salty, squishy sponge while your friends all discuss how good it is to be a carnivore. It can be a lonely and sad existence to have moral standards—cue overused heavenly choir sound bite.

Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised when the sheet came and there were actually quite a few patty options I could have. The one that caught my eye was the Portobello mushroom—mostly because when I have a “burger” at home, that’s what I make myself. Cut the top of a decent size Portobello mushroom, grill it, and use that between two buns—it’s delicious. So I cheated a bit, and marked that down instead of actually rolling for it.

In the end I ended up with a really strange combo that included an egg, marble cheese, sriracha, ketchup, some form of greenery, and a Caesar salad—but I will tell you now, it was probably the best burger I ever ate.

At the end, you’re treated to another piece of fun. Depending on what you rolled for your burger’s “alignment” (it’s a D&D thing), you get a trading card featuring art by local artist Noah Stacey depicting a characterization of an epic burger of that same alignment. For me, I rolled “Lawful Good” so I ended up with the Burger Paladin—complete with horse. It’s something small, but it’s a nice little keepsake, and I always love to see it when businesses support local artists.

All in all, it was a really positive experience (unlike most of my attempts at finding a go-to burger joint), one I look forward to repeating and encourage everyone to try.