Itâs a big hill alright
By Rebecca Peterson, Humour Editor
Itâs that time of year again: The time for satire articles about pumpkin spice lattes, school supplies shopping, and other âstart of school, start of fallâ-type subjects. In the unending well of back-to-school humour clichĂ©s that has yet to run dry (or at the very least, is aided by the fact that not many readers are likely to remember what was published in the Humour section last year), there is the hill.
If youâve never been to the New Westminster Douglas College campus, you might not know of its existence. If youâre a Douglas College athlete who works out far more than your average Other Press section editor, and has a substantial level of fitness, you might not have even registered that it is, in fact, a comically steep hill. Just a ridiculously hard hill to climb. Itâs awful, but hey, if youâre an athlete you can probably do sprints up the hill. You probably crush hills like that all the time. Heck, you can probably climb a flight of stairs without losing your breath, too, or getting that weird, rushing, dizzy feeling in your head.
It must be nice to be fit.
Getting back to the hill, though. If youâre not a superstar athlete, the hill is daunting, at the very least. If your paycheque is reliant on you sitting at your laptop and writing humorous articles about big hills and not, say, actively moving around and building up muscle and stamina, the hill ensures that youâll show up to class sweating, breathless, and with makeup trailing down your face because no amount of setting spray can keep it in place after youâve climbed Mount Kill-a-man-Douglas and you canât afford the more expensive long-wear stuff you keep meaning to buy because youâre a poor student and not the billionaire popstar that 6-year-old you thought youâd be at 22.
Where was I going with this?
Right. The hill. Itâs a big steep hill. Someone should really do something about it.
But if nothing is done, at the very least, we can write another article about it next year.