Donât ask invasive personal questions about someoneâs life
By Cazzy Lewchuk, Opinions Editor
Recently, I was asked by a long-time family friend if I was dating anyone. When I told him I wasnât, he proceeded to ask questions like âWhy arenât you?â and âDo you have your eye on anyone?â and âWhen the last you dated someone?â Iâm not dateless by choice. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and embarrassing.
My dating life (or lack thereof) has always been a sensitive issue. While Iâll be the first to make jokes about it, itâs not very fun to analyze a personal, sad area of your life for others. There are many reasons why someone might not be dating, and many of these reasons involve sad thoughts of not being good enough or otherwise unattractive.
Of course, sensitive issues can span all kinds of topics. The typical questions one asks about someoneâs lifeâif someoneâs in school, is working, has plans for the futureâcan be things someone is unhappy with. Someone could be incredibly unhappy with their life and circumstances, maybe even battling some kind of depression in the process.
Itâs all right and normal to ask these sorts of questions, but itâs the answers that are key. If someone says they arenât dating, and gives vague or quiet answers about why, itâs probably a sign they donât want to talk about that aspect of their life. You learned the answer, and you should move on.
While this is an issue for any age, it is a particularly large for millennials. Generally speaking, millennials are in a worse-off condition than any other generation before. A bad economy, expensive post-secondary education, a lack of job prospects, and rising prices all contribute to many who are struggling just to get by. Many older people are unaware or in denial of how bad the problems get, and thus can come off as insensitive in many areas.
It is not easy to go back to school. When in school, itâs hard to determine your future and what youâll do when youâre finished (particularly if you chose a degree that you are passionate about but may not offer many job opportunities). It is harder than ever to plan ahead and get a decent job, or a job that plots you towards a career. If someone is stuck in a dead-end job, asking when they plan to leave it or what theyâll be doing in five years is a really tough question.
General conversation can quickly turn upsetting. Itâs important to notice and remember when a topic is sensitive, and to limit yourself on what you ask accordingly.