Illustration by Ed Appleby
Shut up and put down your phone
By Cazzy Lewchuk, Staff Writer
Now that the festivals are over and the weather is getting colder, concert season is upon us. Although every venue and show is different, the terrible behaviour that occurs is almost universal. So whether you’re among 150 or 15,000 people, there are many ways to not be a jerk at shows.
Hold your liquor. I mean this literally and figuratively. Nobody wins when you spill your $8 beer on the person behind you because you’re too drunk to keep steady. Keep it in your cup and in your mouth.
Shut up. Just please shut up. None of us paid $20 to listen to you chat with your friend next to you or on your phone. We want to hear the music on stage. Take it outside, stand in the back, or just be quiet.
Put. Down. Your. Damn. Phone. Don’t send 20 tweets during the set. Don’t send Snapchats of the band performing. Don’t hold up your phone above your head to take videos of the show. You aren’t going to watch it later, and the quality is going to suck. I can’t even count how many concerts I’ve been to where I watch the performance through phone screens, especially at larger venues.
Take care of your basic hygiene. During and after the show, everyone’s going to get a bit sweaty. That’s why it’s so important to use deodorant and shower beforehand. People can smell you in the crowd. You aren’t 12 years old anymore.
Don’t jump on the stage taking pictures with the band members. Don’t harass the band members playing their set. They have an important and difficult job to do, and they don’t need unwanted audience interaction.
Get a babysitter. It should be a given that a baby or toddler shouldn’t be at an event where the noise is the primary entertainment, but it still happens. It’s almost worse than bringing a baby to a movie, and it’s not good for the kid’s hearing or well-being either.
Smoke outside. I don’t care if it’s a cigarette or something with a bit more kick to it, but blowing smoke into other’s faces is disgusting and wrong. Some of us have asthma or just don’t like the smell. Light up before the show or between sets somewhere away from non-smokers.
Wear closed-toe shoes. Concerts are a place to dance, and you’ll likely stand for a long period of time. Wearing heels or flip-flops is a surefire way to get blisters and your feet stepped on by repugnant concertgoers.
Behave yourself in the mosh pit. Depending on the genre of music, a mosh pit is to be expected. Don’t bang into people who aren’t in the pit. And if you can’t handle moshing, get out before you get hurt. And don’t start a mosh pit if there’s no interest. Also, keep your drinks out of there. There will be spillage.
On the other hand, yelling a request for “Free Bird” will never not be funny. No matter what kind of show it is.
Being a courteous concertgoer makes the world a slightly better place. It ensures live music will be an activity enjoyed by many forever. So whether you’re busting a move to Fighting For Ithaca at Olympia Pizza or living a teenage dream with Katy Perry at Rogers Arena, just remember not to be a jerk. See you there. I’ll be the guy yelling “PLAY FREE BIRD!”
