Cartoon physics you wish you had in real life

Who wouldn’t want to possess these unrealistic and physically impossible abilities?

By EG Manilag, Staff Writer

As someone who watched a lot of cartoons as a kid—and still do—I always imagined how helpful some of the abilities they have in these shows would be. Late for school? Teleport hole! Forgot something? Just pull it out of your imagination! Large bird you’re trying to catch? Giant Anvil! Here are some of the other cartoon physics we all wish were real.

Ability to teleport into holes

Widely known as “portable holes” in Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner and Looney Tunes, this cartoon logic would be extremely cool to experience. Imagine a life in college without having to worry about being late. You can just jump into holes and instantly teleport into school or, really, any place that comes to mind. Plus, you don’t have to buy a car or wait in transit, you just have to get your “hole,” place it anywhere, and hop in.

Ability to defy gravity

We often see this contravening law in almost every cartoon show, usually in a setting where a cartoon character runs off a cliff. The catch here is that gravity won’t work until the character looks down or reacts. This ability would be fun as long as you’re fearless. That’s right, fearless (and maybe a little stupid). Most protagonists, like Jerry in Tom and Jerry, would easily survive running off a cliff because they are fearless. But if you’re not that strong-willed, then you might consider this next one which is not risky.

Endless house interior

I never really appreciated how freakishly huge and endless house interiors in cartoons were until I was old enough. When I was young I found SpongeBob’s house a bit ridiculous because of its inconsistency with the interior size and design. To illustrate, his house, made of pineapple, has an exceptionally large library—large enough to swing around like Tarzan into each aisle. Very intriguing. Also, I find the hallway of endless rooms in Scooby-Doo to be weird. But now, as a broke college student, it has really fascinated me. I think it’s everyone’s dream to have a house like that, regular on the outside but fabulously huge on the inside. With houses like those in cartoons, you can invite all your friends, even the friends of your friends, and still have rooms to spare.

Make imaginary objects come to life

I remembered an episode in Tom and Jerry where Jerry simultaneously imagined knives, and through his tangible thought bubble created them—only to throw them at Tom. The logic there is that any object that a cartoon character thinks of can appear in his hands at once. This could be the ultimate superpower. It’s like having Green Lantern’s power ring. You can imagine cars, houses, yachts, planes, jets, etc. The possibilities here are endless, and free.

Musical prodigy

There are only few episodes where we see characters like Tom and SpongeBob play instruments and sing, but when they do, they’d be like Mozart, especially Tom. Tom taught himself how to play the piano in less than a day. After that, he had his “Cat concerto.” SpongeBob on the other hand, tends to have a golden voice whenever he performs. One iconic episode that depicted his overall showmanship was “Band Geeks,” where he performed the song “Sweet Victory.” Now, if we can acquire both package deals, then it would be a sweet ride. In real life, it would be like a combination of Beyoncé’s voice and Mozart’s musicality.