All of my worldly travels in 2020, including going to the fridge for more food

Illustration by Athena Little

Oh, the Places I’ve Gone!
By Craig Allan, Staff Writer

They called it the ‘Douglas College David Lam Campus.’ I thought ‘Boy, that lamb must have been pretty important to get a building named after it.’

2020… what a year! So much fun and exciting travel. Like many of you, I too have traveled the world in search of adventure and fun. Here are some of the places I have been this year.

The first foreign and exciting place I went to was known as Haome Officeh (spelt “Home Office”). It was this magical place with a table and a computer. I could just sit there all day and work on things like the permeability of different soil compounds, or theories on the meaning of Catherine in the book Northanger Abbey. It had a window looking outside, so I could see everything going on outdoors. It was like the time I went on that prison tour. Only this time I was like the prisoner. So fun!

Later in the year, I went to the most wonderful bazaar. It had food from all over, like avocados, and pineapples. There were also sections where you could smell fresh bread and see a variety of seafood and packaged meat. They even had a place where you could buy drugs. I guess their laws are far less strict here. They had everything from ibuprofen to placebo. If you get something from there, make sure you don’t get the drug “LAXative”. Trust me! All the people who ran this store walked around in red shirts and had surgical masks on. Those masks must have been part of some sort of cultural event, like Halloween or Marti Gras. This bazaar was called the “Real Canadian Superstore.” I could have spent all day there. Spring for one of their basket vehicles. It’s only a dollar, but believe me, you’ll need it. You also get the dollar back when your done, so it’s a win-win!

After enjoying Haome Officeh so much, I decided I wanted to splurge for a greater experience, so I went to a place similar to Haome Officeh, but it was much bigger, and had more computers. They called it the “Douglas College David Lam Campus.” I thought “Boy, that lamb must have been pretty important to get a building named after it. But they didn’t even spell his animal species name right, so how important could he be?” I looked around though, and I couldn’t see any lambs. Not even a lamb chop! I said, “Baa David, baa!” but no David Lamb. Anyway, I went to room that was like the Home Office room, and even though this is a college, which means “a group of people with a particular job, purpose, duty, or power who are organized into a group for sharing ideas, making decisions” there was hardly anyone there.

Also, I wasn’t allowed to go near anyone, which seemed odd since this is a college. It was just like Home Office. It had a window to look outside. I tried to buy one of those sweaters, but the store was closed, and all the officers there just kept demanding that I take hand sanitizer. Probably another cultural thing. This place had a lot of rules. Don’t know how many times I will return to this place. Maybe if they bring back the lambs.

I had so much fun travelling this year. I can’t wait to explore more of the world. I can’t wait to go to this place called “Vancouver,” which I think means you get to drive a convertible van. Don’t know where you drive it, but it sounds so exotic and fun!