Advice from Mr. Bic

Questions and answers

By Cazzy Lewchuk, Staff Writer

As a new parent, I wonder, what do you as a young adult think are the most important values or qualities of a parent? What has allowed you to flourish as you have?

– New Mom

Dear New Mom,

As we get to an age when many of us, or our friends, are having children and getting married, the question of how to raise a child inevitably comes up. Most of us know someone who can attest to the difficulty of figuring it all out—how is nine months enough time to figure out how to keep a whole human alive for two decades? The short answer is that there is no right or wrong method. Everyone was raised a little differently, and each parenting style is unique to those who actually use it for 18 years.

I will never know the difficulty my parents had in raising me, and can never express my gratitude for the task it must have been, just as I can’t for anyone else who has raised a child. It’s important to remember that it’s taken one day at a time, and that the love for your child will make everything else worth it. In the end, doing “what feels right” has worked most of the time for us and our billions of ancestors before us. Maybe there really is something to be said for winging it, no matter what any mommy blogs or journalism publications say.

It’s my second semester in college and I still haven’t made any friends from the campus. How can I meet more people here? How does someone make friends in university? People seem more divided than in high school.

– Frightened Frosh

Dear Frightened Frosh,

You’re absolutely right about the division. College/university can be a scary place: bigger buildings, a lot more people, and a general feeling of uncertainty. It often seems like the social atmosphere is more closed and that the people are more withdrawn

There’s no magical formula to making friends. Everyone has a different need, and that’s where the trick is. You’re not the only person at school who feels awkward about making friends. Try actually sticking around on campus a bit after class. Talk to some of your classmates, even if it’s just about the homework. The only way to create a better social atmosphere is to be social and, quite literally, “join the conversation.”

Making just one or two friends at school is a great launching point. If nothing else, it’ll provide you with security and comfort about your friend-making abilities.

Signing off with a flourish,

Mr. Bic