FEATURE

A simple guide to better friendships

What determines a friend? Shared interests and hobbies, frequent gatherings at the same hangout spots, grand parties that get crazier time after time? Where does personality come into the equation? Or, is there something missing from this, something that can’t be so easily analyzed or measured?

HUMOUR

Split into two

I’ve been wooed by my childhood love, Pasta. I grew up with Pasta, and we both know each other very well. We have countless memories together, such as the early days when he was just a small macaroni. Oh, he was so cheesy back then!

HUMOUR

#RepaintGate?

Controversy erupted at last Sunday’s Super Bowl game, with accusations flying from both sides of the field. Social media was abuzz over New England Patriots kicker’s comment at halftime.

HUMOUR

Breakups for Dummies?

Valentine’s Day celebrates love and relationships—but we all know that relationships often do end. So, in the same way that you can express love on V-Day, you definitely can announce a breakup too. In fact, as soon as you get in a relationship you should start keeping a list of potential reasons to break up to be on the safe side. Did you forget to keep a list?

HUMOUR

I’d take that class!

In this third-level course, we will cover the ins and outs of the Walk of Shame. Check your morals at the door, and take a seat in this interactive class to learn the famous ā€œHug & Rollā€ getaway technique, how to spruce yourself up in a jiffy so no one will know your Shame but you, and just where the Walk of Shame term came from.

FEATURE

The history of Valentine’s Day

Love is in the air at our fine institution. Not only because February’s most prolific holiday is upon us quite shortly, but also because I see relatively tame public displays of affection regularly. Quick pecks on the lips, handholding, and even something as simple as two intimate people transfixed by the conversation, smiling at one another—seeing all of these things, and experiencing them myself, just puts a big smile on my face.

LETTITOR

I love bad bitches

I had some trouble coming up with what to write about for this Lettitor, to be honest. I briefly considered writing about da bae, but I empathize with those who would find a 600-word piece on my happiness sickeningly saccharine. Let’s be honest, Valentine’s Day is among the most overwhelmingly caloric of all the sweet holidays, and I think I would blush with embarrassment if I spent editorial space on giving people cavities.