Cats suck and we all know it

Photo by Billy Bui

Imagine pretending that your feline friend is actually cool?
By Tariq Ghanzi, Contributor

I believe cats are just inferior little animals for people who don’t have the self respect to bond with dogs.

Dogs are better than cats and I’m sorry if you feel differently. It’s a simple fact and for some it’s worth disagreeing with.

I think that some cat owners don’t want to admit the embarrassing error of their pet. Realistically, what good is about a cat? What skills or traits of a cat make cat ownership worthwhile for any thoughtful human? They are lazy animals that are almost completely uninterested in the well being of the human that takes care of them, whereas dogs are almost universally enamoured with the humans that care for them. Cats display their traitorous nature all too often while dogs are renown for their loyalty. Dogs will take care of you because they’re part of your family, while cats treat you with disdain and can’t even hold a job. I believe cats are just inferior little animals for people who don’t have the self respect to bond with dogs.  

Cats have no respect for the person that feeds them and even less respect for that person’s property. Foolhardy cat lovers might argue that an energetic or mischievous dog will chew shoes or tear up a house, but that is usually due to the dog not getting enough exercise and being left alone for too long. Also, a dog that is left in your house is far more likely to defend it in case of a break-in then a cat. No cat would ever aid you during a home invasion or out in the streets. Never mind helping you in your time of need, cats don’t even have the nerve to look guilty after destroying your stuff. There are far too many videos of cats knocking things over for no reason.

Additionally, cats can’t even do useful things. People use dogs to find lost humans in the woods or after avalanches. They use dogs to aid people with disabilities, to cheer up sick children, and to find bombs and drugs—plus they are used by police around the world. When has there ever been a police cat or an avalanche kitty? When has a cat served to protect and aid the vulnerable members of humanity? The answer is almost undoubtably not a single time. And if it did happen, it must have been an accident.

Cats also sit on your stuff and waste your money and do nothing to give back to the species that protects them. The internet is filled with videos of cats scratching their owners for no good reason—and note that the internet is just as filled with videos of dogs doing tricks and supporting humans.

It’s unfortunate that anyone needs to repeat the obvious: cats are an inferior pet. Maybe the only thing that they have going for them is that they were worshipped by Egyptians. Aside from that, they can easily be replaced by a mouse trap for less money and possibly better results.