That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
As we near the end of the fall semester, I can see that many of you are starting to crack. You’re staggering around campus like zombies on the hunt for human flesh, twitching and mumbling random facts about Nietzsche. It ain’t pretty.
So, before you have a mental breakdown, I thought I’d offer you some tips for surviving until the sweet relief of winter break:
- Drink coffee. I don’t care what nutritional specialists and your mom say, now is not the time to go herbal and detox. Now is the time to indulge in whatever it is that gets you through the long nights. Personally, I enjoy diet caffeinated energy drinks for this purpose, which are probably akin to poison. But, hey—if it gets you through the night, you can deal with the health repercussions next year, right?
- Don’t ignore your friends. It may seem counterproductive when the essays and exams are piling up in your calendar, but don’t ditch your friends and loved ones. Take breaks to spend time with the people you love, because it makes you more human, and everyone knows that humans score far higher on college exams than non-humans.
- Write for The Other Press. Sure, it takes time and effort to contribute to your favourite student newspaper, but the warm feelings of joy you get from seeing your name in print will clear your brain and lead you straight to an A.
There you have it, folks. I hope you take my advice: with more than 20 semesters of post-secondary pressure under my belt, I’m sort of an expert. And remember, if all else fails, the world is supposed to end on December 21, anyways.