Photo illustration by Joel McCarthy
ICBC weight times
By Kirsten Scott-Wuori, Columnist
Did you forget to wear a shirt today? Did you wear too many shirts today? Were you so hungry after lunch that you found yourself eating barely-trash Timbits from the cafeteria garbage can? Did you get your period in any memorable way? We want to know about it. We know that there are times in your life when you look at yourself and you can barely believe the shameful person looking back at you—but don’t worry! There’s absolutely absolution in sharing. Get it off your chest. Send us your most cringe-worthy confessions at humour@theotherpress.ca, and spread the shame.
This week I had to go renew my driver’s licence. Now most people would agree that the photo is the worst part, and don’t get me wrong, I have had some beauties over the years: the sweaty looking one, the double chin one, and of course the one where I wore no makeup and people question if it’s me. Priceless. So this time I was ready with my hair and makeup done, I wasn’t rushed or sweaty—I thought I was prepared.
The curveball they threw me this time wasn’t the picture, but the personal information on the card: name, address, birth date, hair and eye colour, weight. Consistently when I have gone to renew or apply for anything with ICBC I get a nice man who asks me to verify the above info, I pretend to read it over and I then tell him that yes, it is all good (including my weight from high school).
Well this time I get a woman, and when I hand the sheet back she takes one look at the weight I have just certified as correct (50 kg) and hands it back, informing me that I should update the weight. Ouch. Because I had no idea what my weight was in kilograms (why would I need to know?) I had to tell this woman my current weight—I was too scared to lie again—and she did the math for me (yay), in front of a crowded waiting room.
Needless to say, this time the picture was the last thing on my mind.
—Jessica, 27, Vancouver
