Diary of a Second-hand Zombie-Killer

Ryan’s diary: DO NOT READ!!!!

August 26, 2020

I just wish that everything would go back to the way things used to be. Here I am, a former police officer hanging around a psychopath and his crazy daughter. I hoped I would’ve run into someone else by now—or at least someone who won’t try to eat me for lunch. It’s my only option for now. Those things out there are terrifying. Apparently the infection has something to do with a new pill that came out last month called
“Bonerific.” I wonder what’s in it.

August 27, 2020

We found an abandoned encampment today with tons of those creatures inside. From the looks of it, the place was an old army base. The freaking creatures apparently knew how to use their guns! I’m trying to come up with something to call them. If I go Hollywood, I’d name them zombies. If I go AMC, I’d name them walkers. Hmmm… It’s something to think about.

August 28, 2020

We’ve decided to call this encampment ‘The Wall’ because of the big-ass cement wall that’s enclosing it, except for the wooden front gate. I thought it should be called ‘The Castle’ but Mr. I’m-A-Big-Dick makes those calls apparently. I wish more humans would turn up. I hate using this word, but for the sake of his innocent daughter, I’m going to write it down: mutiny.

August 29, 2020

Today we actually had a couple humans join us at the Wa-no, Castle. Their names are Bill and Doug. I could tell right away that Burt really disliked Doug, but I have no idea why. He’s probably just a tool. I could also tell that Lucy really likes Bill. I saw it in her eyes. Oh yeah, I also saw them doing it behind the Humvee. Ha, Bill. What kind of a name is that?

August 30, 2020

It turns out that Doug is a criminal. I should’ve recognized him. That’s why Burt hated him so much! Man, Doug’s just lucky Burt only kills zombies. Yep, I’ve gone Hollywood. I wonder what he did before all hell broke loose? I also wonder how Burt found out…

With files from Steven Cayer