How to DJ a one-person party
By James Wetmore, Contributor
Ah, the sweet life of self-isolation. What could be better than staying in bed all day—surrounded by snacks and drinks (some more alcoholic than others)—deep in a marathon of that show you’ve been meaning to watch for a while now. All this as the whole world outside is crumbling to pieces. What a wonderful time to be alive.
Well, besides the shortage of some essential items in supermarkets and many people being out of a job now due to the necessity of social distancing. Thinking about the situation caused by COVID-19 can be equally frustrating and depressing, so I’ve picked out a couple songs to help pass the time enjoyably while you think about all those worst-case scenarios.
1. “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police
This 80s’ new wave tune is the perfect song to blast while outside to let people know exactly what you’re thinking in public spaces, or when someone gets uncomfortably close to invading your two meter circle of “get the hell away from me.” You could also scream the chorus during your commute or small shopping trips to ensure that no one is going to come near you just in case you have a couple screws loose. A must-have in your self-isolation playlist!
2. “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott
Not only is this song an absolute bop, but it’s also the perfect song to email to your boss when they ask you why you’re not coming in to work. I mean, you’re already pretty much out of a job, so why not go out with style? Bonus points if you play this outside of an overcrowded hospital to show your solidarity with those affected by COVID-19 (on second thought, do not do this).
3. “I Believe I’m Fine” by Robin Schulz & HUGEL
This song is for all of you who don’t listen to expert advice and go out into the world, continuing the cycle of infection, and ensuring that these songs will be played for a long, long time. (This is not directed at those who can’t afford to stay home or can’t for another reason.) This cheerful EDM song will match your cheery disposition as you go about your day, possibly putting an immuno-compromised person at risk of infection, while you think it’s not a big deal because you feel fine.
Just stay home.
4. “Corona” by The Minutemen
You may recognize this song from the Jackass films, where a group of friends play sometimes dangerous pranks on each other as well as perform stunts and dumb ideas. This all may give you some inspiration for how to spend your quarantine. A fun, upbeat punk song—this one is a must have for any COVID playlist.
5. “Work from Home” by Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign
For those of you that still have a job, this one’s for you! Play this song while you’re getting smashed at noon, staying up all night doing who knows what, and laughing at how fast corporate had to come up with flexible work options! This pop-y hit from the then-fivesome will give you a much-needed boost to your productivity when your brain is just not having it.
The COVID-19 pandemic is a real threat, and while listening to these songs may make you feel mentally invincible, the only way to guarantee your safety (and others) is by listening to health professionals and staying inside until told otherwise. So hunker down, binge on some TV shows, and enjoy your home vacation!