What’s this week looking like for you?
By Sonam Kaloti, Arts Editor
Aries
The new moon on October 16 has opened you up to a great business (or romantic) partnership! Finances and new opportunities are looking good, but beware! The full moon on October 1 and Mercury being in retrograde from October 13 may be steering you in an angry direction. Maybe learn how to chill for once: just cause you’re the baby of the zodiac doesn’t mean you get leeway to be an angry little monster.
Taurus
Cuffing season was meant just for you, baby! Mercury retrograde is in your 7th House of Partnership beginning October 13. This means if you’re single you may fall head over heels for someone new, but if you’re in a relationship, you might just get reminded why you’re together.
The anxiety from the full moon on October 1 may still be holding you back. Surrender to the waves! Stop being such a stubborn bull and become more like a sardine, drifting in the vast flow of the ocean.
Gemini
Not so two-faced this month, are you, Gemini? This month you’re all about family, home matters, and finances. You might get approved for a loan or the real estate you’ve been trying to acquire. Gee, how exciting you are!
The new moon on October 16 falls into your 5th House of Romance—swoon! Might want to have a chat with your partner about having that baby.
Cancer
Venus is in your 3rd House of Communication this week, so you’ve truly got love on the brain. You’ve got the liquid luck potion in your heart, so all your romantic endeavors will be successful. Too bad your shitty work life is screaming in your head, interrupting that smooth jazz. Get a grip and get your girl, silly crab.
Leo
You started this month feeling completely hopeless in getting an education. It’s okay, we can’t all be geniuses. Besides getting that coin, this month kind of sucks for you. Don’t blame me, blame the stars. Luckily, the Full Moon on October 31 is in your sign, so you’ll be back to you old, loud, obnoxious self in no time!
Virgo
You are a God this week. You’re all about confidence and positive vibes, everyone’s vying for your affection, money’s coming your way… it’s seriously the best. Nothing bad to say here. You should probably think about carrying around an evil eye, though.
Libra
So, your dead relationship ended in the last couple weeks. Nice, it wasn’t worth saving, pal. The New Moon on October 16 fell in your sign, and you’re feeling the affects. Try not to use people as rebounds too hard, heartbreaker, or you may be the one getting body parts broken.
Scorpio
Mercury in Retrograde is really messing you up—in a good way. You’re finally learning how to not be a controlling prick! Open your mind, revise your mindset, and be better! It may be hard right now, but everyone else is doing it… so…
Sagittarius
Your love life is a hot mess, but isn’t it always? Anyway, it’s not like you care! You’re free as a bird, and people are just other birds, all flying somewhere…. Who needs a flock?
You know what does fly with you forever? Money, baby! And your finances and career are on FIRE this week. Ask for a raise because you’ll get it. Get ready to marry that upcoming promotion!
Capricorn
You are a domestic disaster. You’re an angry, sensitive, big baby. Grow up. Once you’ve done that, begin putting your career goals in motion. This is the perfect week for professional matters.
Aquarius
Yes, you got chosen to be on the money train, too, Aquarius. That’s good because your Ruler of Love, Mercury, is in retrograde. You feel unsupported, so you’ve chucked that relationship to the backseat. It’s okay, just absorb love from the world instead, you humanitarian angel.
Pisces
You’re dreamily thinking about a special someone, and hopelessly falling… behind in school. This special someone is helping you realize your dreams and they seem like they’ve magically fallen from the heavens, created just for you! Too bad you won’t fulfill those dreams if you keep barely getting D’s. Wake up!
