Staying at home may be our only shot to saving humanity
By EG Manilag, Staff Writer
Whether you’re by yourself or with your family, if you’re staying inside the walls and safety of your house, then you are definitely a part of this heroic story. Let’s not screw this up, let’s become heroes of humanity—and stay home! Home-man to the rescue!
Exercise, not to save some snacks, but to become a snack
This is your time to shine! In this type of activity, you are the actor or actress, and you are paid to become shredded, lean, and toned in a very limited amount of time. Luckily, you can do it easily with the help of life’s circumstances. Hooray! Since you only have a few snacks in your cupboard—not even enough for a whole month’s supply—you are forcefully going to be inspired to workout.
The payment of this workout, however, is not money, it could be fame, yes… But, unfortunately, the only payment you will receive is humanity’s existence being ensured. Since you’re not paid in money, you can’t be called a superstar. However, because you’re doing it for humanity’s sake, you’re called a superhero and superhuman. And I think the latter is the real snack, on-screen or off-screen.
Make TikTok videos
Why not? Maybe this is the time that your parents realize that you have the potential to be a star and that you have what it takes. And that certainly you were not wrong for choosing the arts.
Do some cleaning
By cleaning, I mean deep cleaning. Clean your own room, clean the living room, clean the balcony, clean the staircase, clean the attic, and clean the deepest and most mysterious parts of your house—because you never know what you’ll find! Maybe you’ll find some very, very old documents, stating that you really are an adopted son or daughter. Yikes!
Just stay home. You have nothing to miss or worry about. A lot of outdoor activities had been cancelled already—activities such as hiking, jogging, basketball, and even robberies are cancelled. Robbers, too, are concerned, you know? And maybe they’re applying for their EI—we’ll never know.
Doing nothing might be one of the holiest activities one will ever contribute to saving humanity against this pandemic. Your mom was wrong to tell you twelve years ago that doing nothing will get you nowhere.
But jokes aside, I encourage everyone to stay at home. If you do not so, you’ll miss a ton of crazy internet freebies, including Pornhub’s free month of premium membership!