I hated the snow, but its helped me come to terms

Photo by Anna Machuik

When even two centimetres of snowfalls in the Lower Mainland, we panic like it is a natural disaster, damn near requiring the Canadian Armed Forces to come rescue us.

I embraced snow as a child, now, Iā€™m moving through it as an adult
By Brandon Yip, Senior Columnist

When I was a kid, I loved the snow. I was fascinated and in awe of the white wintery ice flakes descending from the sky. After watching the television specials, Frosty the Snowman and A Charlie Brown Christmas inspired me to go outside and play in the snow. I would build a snowman. I would eat the snow, convincing myself that it was a giant Sprite Slurpee without the sugar. I would throw snowballs at my fence and house, even throwing snowballs at passing cars. Yes, I could be mischievous.

But now as I am older, I have never hated the snow so much as I do now. It has to do with the pandemic, along with the significant weather patterns that affected us in 2021: the heatwave in June and heavy ā€œatmospheric riverā€ downpour in November. After enduring those two contrasting kinds of weather, I was in no mood for any goddamn, fuckinā€™ snow! The snow can kiss my big COVID-19 butt! And driving in the snow is even worse. When even two centimetres of snowfalls in the Lower Mainland, we panic like it is a natural disaster, damn near requiring the Canadian Armed Forces to come rescue us. Plus, when there is a considerable amount of snow on the roads, some drivers seem to think that the best solution to navigate oneself out of the snow is by pressing harder on the gas pedal.

Nonetheless, having the pandemic in our lives is bad enough; but when it is compounded with the heavy snowfall that occurred during the Christmas holidays, I could not find the energy or will to enjoy the snow. As the snow fell upon us with the freezing temperatures, I hated it. I detested the fact that the roads and sidewalks were icy and as a pedestrian, I was putting myself at risk for slipping and fallingā€”causing severe injury.

As well, the sight of snow accumulating outside my house and on my vehicle reminded me of a childhood bully who taunted me with racial epithets in elementary school. And like the snow, he would persist and not go away and leave me alone. He would eventually leave me alone and fade away like the snow.

As I reflect upon my wrath towards our recent snowfall, I realize that the problem was not the snow and the accompanying ice-cold temperature. The problem was me and the attitude I had towards it. I had to change my mindset and perspective. I had to go through bouts of anxiety and anger to realize that if I had a better attitude and was more positiveā€”I could have coped better with the recent snowfall. No one is perfect.

In the end, I will have to forgive the snow. I will also have to forgive the childhood bully who made the early part of my life so miserable. Most importantly, I will have to forgive myself for allowing myself to be so full of hate and anger. Life is too short to be harbouring so much hate. I have no idea what happened to that bully and what he is doing today. It is inconsequential. But I do believe in karma and what goes around comes around.

And when the next snowfall appears, I will now look outside and not be so angry at it. I will choose to embrace it and admire its beauty, not its burden. And like life, the snow is only here for a brief time like us. But if I happen to lose my temper and need to vent while I am outside staring at the snow, I will leave my own signature marking by changing the white snow in front of me to the colour, yellow.