Local woman’s dating profile just several collages of various group photos

Male users confused, annoyed, slightly aroused

By Jacey Gibb, Distribution Manager

 

Male users of the dating app Hinge were left in disarray last Thursday after encountering a woman’s profile comprised exclusively of collages of different group photos.

“I was just cruising for a date this weekend, minding my own business, when this profile popped up. I don’t even know how to describe it,” Michael McBride recounted to the Other Press.

“I’ve been on dating apps for a while now, so I’ve seen some weird shit. We’re talking adult babies. But this… this ain’t right.”

The profile in question—under the name “Victoria”—has six different photos, all of which are made up of multiple other group photographs.

“I’m on a boat, bitch,” one caption claimed, on a photograph that was in fact several pictures of women posing on houseboats. Another image was a composite of various bachelorette parties all posing in front of the same Kelowna winery with the caption “In it to wine it.”

The rest of the profile offered fewer clues, further puzzling potential bump buddies: 26 years old, 5’8”, “yes” to alcohol and a “no” to smoking, works at Lululemon.

“That could be literally half the women in this city,” claimed another male user who matched with “Victoria” but wished to remain anonymous. “And does she mean a storefront Lululemon? Or head office? The plot thickens.”

The anonymous source also claimed that one picture in particular had so many shrunken group photos that there were potentially dozens of groups of women contained within the one picture.

“It was so small and pixelated,” the user said, while swiping left and right during the interview. “How am I possibly supposed to know if she’s someone I might want to unload my trauma on, have disconnected sex with for two weeks, then ghost completely?”

Representatives from Hinge did not immediately respond to our requests for a comment. However, the company’s policy (found online) mentions group photos under Section 8.C, claiming that it “respects users’ rights to confuse anyone checking out their profile,” though it does not “condone flooding the market with photos where it’s, like, really, really difficult to scope out some ass.”

But not every user was as flabbergasted by the photos. Tom Smith, a dating app enthusiast and long-time user of Hinge, sent a “like” to the mysterious profile.

“It’s like being on a treasure hunt,” explained Smith. “If you think about it, there are easily over a hundred women between all of these group photos. Any one of them could be ‘Victoria.’ Or if I want to get philosophical, maybe we’re all Victoria?”

Smith said he did not match with the profile but had high hopes that Victoria had just been out of WiFi range during the weekend, or maybe had just been really busy with work.

“It might sound cheesy—some would call me a hopeless romantic even—but you’ll never know unless you smash that ‘like’ button and slide into her DMs.”