Why self-proclaimed “nice guys” won’t ever be winners
By Alex Stanton, Staff Writer
There comes a time in every man’s life when he realizes that the rules your parents teach you to live by are very distinct from the rules that the world actually runs by. In fact, most moral lessons your parents imparted to you are not only wrong, they’re outright lies told to you by authority figures to keep you in check. Realizing this fact is an essential part of becoming an adult; how you react to this realization will define who you are.
Occasionally, a man will grow up, get a glimpse of the truth about the unfairness of life, and pretend that he heard nothing. Many grown men want to believe that the most important thing in life is being a good person so Santa will bring them presents. They generally have a crippling phobia of conflict, which leads to a lack of assertive behaviour (and lost opportunities). Most amusing of all, when it comes to women, they don’t just believe in the Middle Ages chivalry bullshit, they go all the way in, giving their greatest impression of a knight in shining armour. After all, there’s no quality more desirable in a man than how good he is at making those around him complacent and content.
Does that description feel familiar to you? Do you ever feel that you don’t get enough credit for being such a decent all-around person, particularly from women? This common breed of person is what people have taken to calling the “nice guy.” The nice guy finishes last… all the time. Quite frankly, he usually deserves it.
I’ve associated the word “nice” with guys who are being kind to someone who can give them something in return. Sure, many interpersonal relationships are partially built on what one party can do for the other, but the problem with the nice guy is that he believes he’s entitled to everyone’s respect and friendship because he’s “such a good guy.”
These self-proclaimed nice guys generally don’t have any game whatsoever with the opposite sex. Why? Because, as always, they exclusively play up one of the few qualities they have, being a genuinely friendly person.
The biggest problem with this attitude is that in order to succeed in various aspects of your life, be it with relationships, your career, or your social life, you need a hell of a lot more than common decency, something that should be expected from everyone in society anyway, regardless of what you get in return for it. A nice guy firmly believes, being as nice as he is to woman, that he’s entitled to her time because he treats her like a princess.
Nice guys, the most important lesson I can give you on your journey to self-improvement is this: “nice” is boring. That’s not to say you shouldn’t keep being a righteous dude, but you need to be more than that. Doormats get stepped on and overlooked by the people that matter in their career due to a serious lack of assertiveness and confidence; and for those of you moaning about how that girl you were so nice to always goes for jerks and assholes, just keep in mind that there is nothing at all interesting or sexually attractive to a woman about overblown chivalry and kowtowing.
Not all hope is lost, nice guys, for I’m a recovering nice guy myself. I can tell you from experience that you can gain the self-respect and confidence that you need to live your life to the fullest. I would get on that now; as long as your personality contains nice guy tendencies, you’ll get nothing but a well-deserved last place trophy.