Anything but a minion, please, I’m begging you
By Sonam Kaloti, Arts Editor
It’s spooky season ghouls and ghosts! While social distancing may make trick-or-treating (or partying) difficult this year, nothing should hold you back from dressing up like there’s no tomorrow! Besides, you must scare away the spirits on All Hallows’ Eve, lest you pick up an undesirable friend.
Which festive dessert do you choose?
- apple crisp
- pumpkin pie
- maple cinnamon cake roll
Trying a shortcut to get home faster during a late-night Autumn stroll, you turn into an alley. Suddenly a ghost crosses your path. Do you:
- scream and run
- greet the ghost—you don’t want to seem rude
- pull out your phone to take a picture—no one would believe you without evidence!
Your friends are coming over to hangout. Do you all:
- pick pumpkins at a pumpkin patch, then have a carving contest
- have a scary movie marathon. Everything from Alien to Paranormal Activity. No one gets to sleep for a week after!
- bottles up, glitters on, and heading out into the town!
You’re in a tent with your vampire boyfriend on the top of a freezing cold mountain while his family fights a war over you. You’re really cold, and probably going to die if you don’t warm up. Do you:
- have your werewolf ex-boyfriend standing guard outside come in to warm you up
- make your vampire boyfriend do his special extra fast run to get you some blankets
It’s Halloween! You have so much to do but all you really want to do it party it up. You’ve got a school project due at midnight, a work essay deadline tomorrow morning, a party to attend, and you don’t even have a costume yet! What do you do?
- why would a holiday come
over real world responsibilities? You do your school project first, then your
work essay, but now all the stores are closed! Guess you’re going to the party
late wearing your normal day clothes. At least work clothes are scary, right?
- you do the project and
essay in less than an hour—sacrificing quality for a good time—then decide to throw
some things together at home for your costume. You make it to the party,
looking like no one else, and have a great night. Everyone is impressed by your
costume. Your professor and boss on the other hand… well let’s just say you’ve
got some explaining to do.
- It’s Halloween baby, a holiday, it’s your constitutional right to party it up tonight. You dismiss the project and essay, opting to go shopping for a super expensive and cool costume. You pre-drink for the party with your friends and have a night you’ll never forget. You wake up a whole day later to many missed phone calls. Probably should’ve skipped the seventh tequila shot.
Congratulations, you’re boring (and a scaredy cat)! Do you even need a costume idea? You’re already quite a scary stick in the mud. Well, since “boring” and “classic” is basically synonymous, you’d be a great sheet ghost. You can keep your privacy, and no one will try to scare you since they can’t see your reaction anyway. You could even turn it up a notch and not say anything the whole night—just like a ghost! Everyone will love that!
You’re the kind of person who everyone fears already because they just always know what to do. Ghosts are already scared of you because you’re not scared of them! Not because they’re not scary, but because if a ghost pulled up, you’d give it a run for its money. You’re the go big or go home type of person, so you should wear a super scary handmade costume. To give it sparkle, try doing a crossover (like a Carrie-esque plague doctor)
The world is your stage and everyone’s watching the show! You’re the queen of being extra and you wouldn’t change it for anything. You love your phone, friends, fashion, fun, and Fireball. Looking scary is so 1800s: a superstar like you should only be dressed in the best—so why not a superstar? Sparkle suit on and dazzle the public!