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It’s been weeks and I still can’t get over how shitty the Girls finale was. I’m usually not as critical about the show as everyone else is, but the last episode almost ruined an otherwise fantastic season for me. When I read the episode description (“In order to avoid being sued by her publisher, Hannah must write her book in a single day”), I was hopeful for hijinks—not half an hour of her whining and eating Cool Whip. Charlie and Marnie getting back together is just lazy writing, where the hell did Jessa go, and when did this uncomfortably-realistic show become a fairy tale rom-com where everyone gets a happy ending, complete with a grandiose soundtrack to back it? I expected more from you, Lena Dunham!
– Boy vs. ‘Girls’
I’m so sick of hearing people use the term “starving student.” Yeah, post-secondary is expensive and some folks are forced to rely on services like the food bank or have to forgo in the whole eating-regular-meals-on-a-regular-basis, but the majority of people I know who use the term aren’t actually starving. They mean that they can’t afford to drink at a concert because they spent $60 on the ticket, or they have to drink Cariboo instead of Blue Buck. Just because you don’t have the money to party like every night is a screenshot from a rap music video doesn’t mean you’re “starving”—it just means you’re poor like the rest of us.
– Starved for attention
If there were a support group for punctuation abuse (“Hi, my name is Cheryl, and I’m an ellipsis addict.”), I would have to admit to the excessive use of exclamation points. While my excess of exclamations is probably a headache to all those I text, message, and email, I think lazy punctuation is a much worse offence. Missing commas, periods, and question marks, or an overuse of dot dot dots really annoy me (I excuse my own addiction to exclamation points, but I can’t excuse the vague and frankly lazy abuse of ellipses—finish your thought, or don’t start it). I understand that texting on the bus or rushing through a message between classes isn’t conducive to perfect punctuation; when I receive lazy punctuation on a regular basis, though, I get the impression that person thinks I’m not worth the effort of editing. Give me periods, or give me nothing.
– Polite punctuation
I can’t stand marketers’ attempts to make people buy things by emphasizing some sort of superficial empowerment. “Life’s short, buy the shoes”? “YOLO: get some frozen yogurt”? As if that sort of manipulation makes me more likely to nod and say, “Yeah, life is short! And you know what I don’t have enough of in my life? Shoes. That’s what I need.” Inspiration as a means of grubbing money is nothing new: one of the classic examples is the Virginia Slims advertising campaign of the ‘60s: attempting to cash in on the feminist movement, their tagline became, “You’ve come a long way, baby.” This is an old tool in the belt of marketers—empower the people into giving away their money—but it’s ludicrous that I’m supposed to be inspired by these slogans. My empowerment doesn’t actually mean anything to marketers apart from the fact that studies have probably shown that people who feel inspired are more likely to give away their money.
– YOLO, gimme your money