Resting Covid Face

The right face mask is essential
By Morgan Hannah, Life & Style Editor

Error, error, basic human connection skills are inhibited by stupid surgical mask!

In a respiratory pandemic, the right face mask is essential. Otherwise, you could end up with a case of Resting Covid Face. And for those of you who don’t know what that is, well, let me tell you. Resting Covid Face is that moment when you make eye contact with someone from across the way. It could be anywhere, like on a train perhaps. Bodies packed in all around you, swaying with every stop and go, and then BAM! You lock eyes with a stranger and you smile. At first, it’s a little tentative smile; you don’t want to unnerve the other person with a full-blown toothy grin after all, do you? But now their eyes widen like two perfect white marbles and their skin has mottled with annoyance, and you realize that something isn’t registering properly here. You look away, look down, look anywhere but in the eyes of this perfect stranger. The heat of shame crawls across your skin as you realize they must think you’re creepily staring at them rather than smiling. Error, error, basic human connection skills are inhibited by stupid surgical mask! Now you’re left thinking, “If only I were wearing a sleek cloth mask or form-fitting face mask of any kind!”

How about when you’re sitting in a library, typing away on the keys of your laptop—totally in the zone. The muscles in your face have relaxed and your eyes are glazed over, like two sour cream timbits. You don’t even notice the cute boy with freshly dewed spikes in his hair staring at you. They say that first impressions are incredibly important in determining success at finding a mate. Yours was just an unfortunate case of Resting Covid Face. You have now experienced yet another human being thinking that you are a cold, cold bitch—and all because you’re not wearing the right face mask!

I imagine you now grasping your chin in your hand and stroking it thoughtfully, thinking to yourself, “so how does one go about acquiring the right mask?” Well, I’m glad you asked, allow me to tell you. Everyone and their grandparents are selling cloth face masks these days. That means you’ve got options. Lots and lots of options. What is important to remember is multiple layers and a proper seal. The next thing to think about is grabbing a mask that you won’t fuss with—the right mask is one that doesn’t feel like it’s going to slide around. After all, the more you touch your face, the more you’re breaking the golden rules of a pandemic. And the last thing to focus on is the aesthetic. The face mask has become more of an accessory than a face covering these days, so why stick with the blue paper surgical mask when you can don polka dots, aeroplanes, or a professional and sleek solid coloured mask.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) everyone is different, including our head sizes and facial structures. This fact makes it difficult to design a breathable, face-fitting mask that looks great and feels as good as no mask would. It’s just too big an ask. So instead, in a pandemic (something no one can truly prepare for), you’ll find yourself experimenting with a wide variety of masks until the right one comes along. For me, the right one is a simple black fabric mask with non-adjustable elastic ear hoops. My co-worker bought a handful of them for the serving staff at our restaurant and it’s great! At first, I thought that it chafed my chin a bit too much, but since washing it, the fabric has softened and feels quite comfortable as well as looks professional. What I’m trying to get at here with this article is to avoid Resting Covid Face and ensure you’ve got the right face mask for you, you mustn’t be cheap and you can’t always settle for the first face mask you come across. Be bold and invest! After all, there’s no telling how long this pandemic will last for.