Local woman bravely poops in changeroom toilet
By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor
It was an act of protest and bravery at the Mount Pleasant Community Centre.
“I’ve always heard rumors about people doing it, but I’ve never been near one in real life,” said Lauren McLeod, gym-goer.
Female patrons of the centre were changing in the women’s changeroom when they heard someone audibly pooping in the adjoining bathroom stall, an act that even gym attendants say they have never encountered before.
“Most women are acutely aware that the bathroom stalls are directly attached to the changing area. Anything that happens in the stalls becomes a problem for the entire room,” said Yvette Jones, gym attendant. “Most women shower before even entering the changeroom out of pure consideration for their fellow gym-goers.”
Why have the toilets right next to the changing area? Other Press reporters spoke to Sandy Michaelson, the architect behind the Mount Pleasant Community Centre, to find out.
“Though it might seem completely illogical to have a working toilet directly adjacent to a small, windowless area and a steam room, we assumed that women would be too shy and polite to drop a deuce. In my 30 years of designing gyms, I’ve never heard of any women doing a ‘number two’ in the changeroom stalls. They’re mostly reserved for going on Instagram instead of working out, or peeing. We in the industry call it ‘tinkling.’”
Who was the phantom pooper? Those in the changeroom that day were divided on the issue.
“She was in and out so fast, I didn’t catch a glimpse of my hero,” said Terri Ray, who was attending a spin class on the day of the deuce. “I think she was wearing gym clothes. I mean, she was probably wearing gym clothes, because we were at the gym.”
“There’s no evidence that points towards the pooper being a woman,” pointed out Emma McGregor, an avid weightlifter. “A blatant disregard for unspoken rules and social conduct? Sounds like a man to me.”
McLeod was certain she saw a “flash of magenta, and then she was gone, as quickly as she pooped. What a modern-day Joan of Arc.”
What does this mean for the future of Mount Pleasant Community Centre?
“We try create a positive, welcoming atmosphere for all gym patrons,” said Daniella Egelson, lead director of the gym. “We welcome everybody to use the facilities to their fullest extent. I would also like to take this time to remind people that pooing is super gross and should be done in the sanctity of their own homes.”
“Whoever the phantom pooper is, I salute her,” McLeod said. “I’ll be thinking of her next time I drop trou.”
Reporters tried to visit the male change rooms, but upon entering were absolutely disgusted and refused to comment further.