Why your word should be your bond, if it isnât already
By Alex Stanton, Staff Writer
I remember being a young kid trying to all but extort my parents for whatever I neededâbe it a toy, a twist cone from McDonaldâs, or a new Nintendo game. One of the foolproof ways to get what you want at that age is to ask for something in advance, and then ask them to promise; generally, grown-ups have too much on their minds to think too far ahead. So, youâve got a promise. Only they usually denied that they ever promised anything in the first place.
Still, as I used to say, âa promise is a promise.â
That is to say, I used to say it, but I also still say it. Because if youâre going to be a mature, functional adultâparticularly if you care about your careerâthis is important stuff.
Today, the way we socialize is becoming irrevocably altered by technology, and stuff thatâs said is also underrated.
One of the single most absurd ways to signal to another person that youâre trustworthy is to swear on someoneâs grave. Sit down and think about it for a bit and youâll see that itâs obnoxious. Itâs a superfluous way to say âyou’ve got my word, homie,â and whatever trust is being placed in you is in no way as important as your late grandmother.
If youâre trying to establish trust with me and you mention swearing on someoneâs grave, Iâm going to trust you a hell of a lot less. But, if you pull through for me, at least you can say youâre more respectable than the many people who spew out the word âpromiseâ in a way thatâs only slightly more meaningful than spewing out last nightâs Fireball.
The meaning behind the word âpromiseâ is not to be taken lightly. The men and women who end up achieving the most respect from their peers are the ones who see their word as their bond. The ones who say âI promise to do something,â and then actually do it. You canât be told something in confidence, go out and tell a bunch of people, and expect people to place their faith in you. If you make any number of promises to people who trust you and you donât follow through, you are quite simply the single most useless, weak type of human beingâone whoâs unreliable and untrustworthy.
If this sounds like you, Iâd say a good start wouldnât be to follow the plot of My Name is Earl and try to right all your past wrongs. Baby steps, to me, would involve not making promises unless you are certain you can accomplish the task. All it takes to get yourself out of possible deep shit in the future is to change a couple of words in a sentence. I respect someone who says, âI can’t promise anything, but Iâll do my bestâ way more than someone who uses the word so much it becomes devoid of meaning.
There might be situations in the professional world where you have to step over someoneâs corpse, and thatâs fine. Donald Trump didnât get rich by opening orphanages and curing cancer. But I would say in general that, even with social media turning millennials into unapologetic flakes, it should be considered socially unacceptable to give someone your word and screw them over.
Your word is your bond.
