You never really know someone until you live with them

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

Why everyone should live with their partners before deciding to spend their lives together

By Tania Arora, Staff Writer


Imagine marrying and then moving in with someone who you don’t know completely. Even after dating them for a long time, you might not know what they are like to live with. Meeting someone every day for a period of time, or even staying with them overnight doesn’t reveal the true nature of a person. Someone may seem like they would be good to spend the rest of your life with, but you never really know until you live with them.

Every individual has a different set of habits—some you can be at peace with, some you can suck it up for, and then there are some you just can’t stand. Following are the reasons why I think people should live together for a while before saying yes to that ring.


Physical check

Everybody wants a partner that they are sexually compatible with. Some may look for longevity, capacity, interest, stamina, flexibility, and other add-ons in terms of sexual compatibility. If they can’t or won’t satisfy you, are you sure you want to hang on to them for the rest of your life?


Family adjustments

Everyone knows that marriage is not just between two people, it also connects their families. Proper balance and respect between your partner, their family, and your own family is extremely important. Living with your partner would give you a realistic glimpse of how you need to compromise for each other’s family, and how you must act around each other’s kin.


Household chores

Your partner promising breakfast in bed, promising to clean up after themselves, and promising to help with daily house duties is not the same thing as actually doing those tasks. Living with them will indicate to you if they are willing (or even capable) of doing these things.  This information will help you decide if the deal of dividing the work equally will actually materialize.


Are they fun to be around

People might have the urge to change the people they surround themselves with. In marriages, once the vows are taken, it really isn’t that easy. Living together and seeing how well you two get along after a stressful day will help you figure out if there is the slightest possibility of you losing interest in your partner or vice versa.


Deciding who you want to spend the rest of your life is a much bigger decision that choosing a career path. You can change the course of your life anytime you want, but you cannot juggle or switch partners that easily—choose wisely.