Rambunctious puppy ruins next Christmas for everyone

Post-Christmas chaos at the North Pole linked to retribution for lost squeaky toy

By Allie Davison, Columnist

Normally at the North Pole, the days following Christmas are filled with relaxation and Yuletide cheer. In the early days of January, Santa’s elves should have been getting back to their day-to-day lives, and slowly starting to get ready for next year’s toy-production schedule. Unfortunately, because of one unhappy puppy, preparations are set back by months.

An as-of-yet unnamed brown beagle hybrid puppy reportedly traveled 5,000 km across bodies of water, frozen tundra and vast mountains in order to reach the jolly village that Santa calls home. Although the exact reason for the rampage that followed remains slightly unclear, analysts believe there was a specific squeaky toy missing from the pile under the Christmas tree.

“It was madness, pure madness,” one of Santa’s little helpers recalls. “I was just sitting at my bench, starting up whittling a little toy train when she tore the roof right off the workshop! I can’t remember much after that—a reindeer trampled me and I think I lost consciousness.”

Thankfully no one was killed in the attack, but four elves have been airlifted to the nearest hospital, and a number of reindeer are still missing.

“Well, those reindeer are mighty jumpy. And with all the ruckus that happened, I’m not surprised they headed for the hills like they did. We’re just lucky their flying dust had worn off, otherwise we’d be looking for them on the moon!”

As for the fate of the rampaging hound? After destroying the workshop, chewing on Santa’s sleigh, and destroying Mrs. Claus’ kitchen, the puppy turned around and headed back to civilization. She was last seen diving into the Pacific Ocean, presumably on her way home. The Clauses have yet to comment on the situation, and while it remains unknown if they will be pressing charges, someone has definitely made next Christmas’ naughty list.