Mega earthquake to relieve pressure on housing market

The only possible thing that will reduce the cost of housing in Vancouver

By Cara Seccafien, Production Assistant

The cost of housing is out of control in Metro Vancouver. According to VanCity, a couple needs to earn $123,000 per year to afford an average mortgage. People living in the Lower Mainland are likely empathetic to this situation.

A major earthquake might be just the thing that will get Tregor Bobertson and his council into action to combat homelessness and the cost of housing, as earthquakes have been known to significantly reduce property values.

Following the 7.8 quake of 1906 in San Francisco, rent-to-own relief homes were built to house about 20,000 people. These could be purchased by renters after 25 monthly payments of $2.00. At that price, you could buy 10 of these tiny homes upfront and still pay less than one month’s rent in Vancouver. Lucky for us, there is a 50 per cent chance of a mega earthquake hitting the west coast in the next 50 years.

Right now, apartment vacancies in Vancouver are well-below the national average. This means that finding an apartment, let alone an affordable one, is nearly impossible. A population decrease—that comes naturally with a mega earthquake—will increase vacancy rates, lowering rents, and easing your apartment hunt. No more living out of your van for the month of September!

This news may not sound ideal to all. Thinking about a mega earthquake can cause major anxiety for many Vancouverites. Truthfully I’ve been known to have full-blown panic attacks when a truck drives past my house, because I assume that it’s the start of the largest earthquake this region has felt in the last 500 years.

But fear not Vancouver! Next time you feel your chest tighten and/or your floor rattle, repeat this grounding mantra in your head: “If I survive this earthquake, I will have my pick of Yaletown at an affordable price. If I survive this earthquake, I will have my pick of Yaletown at an affordable price.” Calming, isn’t it?

If that doesn’t quite do the trick, picture your view of False Creek, your rooftop garden, your high-efficiency in-suite washer, and your adorable tiny pug. Think of all the seawall babes hitting on you and/or your doggy, asking if they can come back to your place. Your place!? A swanky high-rise with a jacuzzi downstairs. Yuppie life, here you come! Post-earthquake you’re ballin’.

If that’s not a grounding exercise, I don’t know what is.