How to woo people on public transit
By Mercedes Deutscher, News Editor
Public transit: the one place in public where people enjoy being talked to! It is a truly social space where both friendships and love thrive. However, do you ever find yourself confused or scared to approach people? Try these great conversation starters during your next transit adventure.
Let’s say for example, you see an attractive guy trying to figure out the crossword in this morning’s Metro. Use their interest in the word game to your advantage. Try suggesting that words can be used. Better yet, snatch the paper out of their hands and finish the whole damned thing yourself. Once he’s not distracted by the crossword, he can pay more attention to you.
A similar principle applies to the cute political science student who is reading what is happening this week in Parliament. Snatch the paper out of her hands. Rip out the picture of Justin Trudeau. You’ll be damned if some smooth talking, young, exciting, slightly-dangerous-because-of-tattoos-and-pot-yet-still-enough-of-a-good-boy-to-take-home-to-mama and oh-so-attractive Prime Minister is going to outshine you.
People love to know if they smell good, especially compared to the wretched stench of public transportation. Tell him that his cologne smells great. Is it Calvin Klein? Better take a good whiff of his hair or arm or abs to find out.
For some, the bus is a great place to catch a nap during the early morning commute to work, or the post-party ride of shame home. You know what makes naps even better? Cuddling. Cuddle up close to sleeping beauty. It will be a pleasant surprise for them to wake up to.
You can’t go wrong with offering someone a drink. Offer them a glass of wine. For best results, pour the wine between stations so that you don’t spill 2014 port all over their Louboutin’s they spent way too much on at Nordstrom.
Sometimes, you’ll encounter someone who is listening to music quietly with their headphones while you are on your way to work at your fantastic job at a music store called VMH. Pull some scissors out of your bag and cut the cord of their headphones. Take the opportunity to introduce yourself, and then explain to them how much you love your job at VMH. Be sure to mention that VMH is having a clearance sale this weekend on all Beats by Dre, at 25 per cent off! Leave them your business card and tell them how much you’re looking forward to seeing them at the VMH, where you work and love.
Perhaps the person of your interest is edgy and carries a longboard with them. Surely, you can get their number by appealing to their adrenaline junkie nature. To do this, simply overthrow the bus driver and start driving the bus through downtown Vancouver, making sure that the bus does not decrease to a speed under 80 km/h (otherwise the bus may explode.) Bonus points if, while pulling of this move, you are Keanu Reeves and that long boarder is Sandra Bullock.
