Many cashing in on abnormal bets
By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor
The grand and gluttonous ritual that is the American Super Bowl came and went this last weekend. While many yards were run, great throws were tossed, and chicken wings were eaten, there were only a select few true victors that came out of that glorious Sunday. Sports betting has always been a large and important part of the festivities, and this year was no different. Though, if caring about what actually happens in the game is not exactly your cup of beer, the powers that be have seen fit to incorporate pretty much anything about the game into an opportunity to take your money. Here are the lucky few that kept their hard-earned dollars, and then some.
Clive Lemmings—Los Angeles, California: Lemmings cashed in big time this past Sunday as he gathered around his flat screen TV with a few select friends. He had ironically taken advantage of this year’s expansive prop betting options and put a small fortune down on the over under on “how many times the TV would show someone in the stands eating a hotdog.” Lemmings braved the glaringly skewed odds and, with each viewing of an American chowing down on meat and buns (five times in total), he grew richer by roughly $10,000.
Jessica Tupple—Cheyenne, Wyoming: This lucky lady secured a hefty sum by placing an all or nothing bet on the exact number of chicken wings that would be sold by Buffalo Wild Wings during Super Bowl Sunday. She hit the chicken right on the pecker by rightly guessing 13,873,213, and went home with the same amount in cold hard American cash.
Alexander Ovechkin—Washington Capitals: Alexander Ovechkin, the sharp-shooting NHL star, heard wind that there was a prop bet this year pitting the number of touchdowns scored at this year’s Super Bowl against the number of shots on goal Ovechkin would achieve in game that same night. Ovechkin placed his entire fortune on the under, and played his most selfish game of hockey that night, tripling his overall net worth. Word has it Ovechkin then retired from hockey and fled to northern Russia to avoid any illegal gambling charges laid against him.
Kevin Richards—Portland, Oregon: Richards is a part-time barista, part-time actor, and one who had no plans of watching football last Sunday. He had, however, planned on watching the halftime show, as he is a huge Beyoncé fan. Under pressure from his father, he placed a small bet on the choreography of Beyoncé’s background dancers, just so he could tell his father that he had “totally bet on the game, pops.” Lucky for Richards, he happened to predict the exact movements of every dancer’s feet, down to the two and a half missteps. Richards walked away with $50,000 and a newfound respect for the truly American game of football.
