This one’s for Elodie, you bitch
By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor
Did you think everybody was just as committed to making it in the big city as an artist as you are? Think again! While some of us suffer for our craft by working gruelling 11-hour shifts and picking bobby pins off of public restroom floors to save a couple bucks, others are having the time of their adult lives lying in a hammock in Indonesia and hooking up with Australians.
As winter looms over our heads like the threat of getting the flu for the fifth time this year, consider watching one of these movies while thinking about killing your friend who somehow saved up enough money to backpack across Asia again.
5) Ice Age
This movie is all about doomed creatures struggling to survive the harsh Arctic landscape, something I assumed my friends and I were going to do together until one of us decided to book a six-month trip to Southeast Asia. There’s a sloth, a sabre-toothed tiger, and a mammoth voiced by Ray Romano. Even though they are animals that you would assume would be, like, totally fine in their Arctic climate, they crave warmer temperatures, such as Bali. Or Vietnam.
4) Up in the Air
When your friends complain about the nine-hour plane ride they’ll have to take in order to get to a land of perpetual sunshine and rum-filled coconuts, you can watch this seemingly endless movie to get the same effect. George Clooney flies around the world and fires people, which is what you would get at your work if you decided to take a six-month vacation to Southeast Asia.
3) The Beach
A young, sexy, frosted-tipped Leonardo DiCaprio stars in this 2000 thriller. He backpacks around the gulf of Thailand and has an amazing, life-changing experience meeting people from all around the world. He sleeps under the stars, parties until the wee hours of the morning, and swims in phosphorescence with an equally sexy French girl—all things I assume happen while backpacking. I wouldn’t know for sure, since some of us haven’t been backpacking in Asia three separate times. But I digress.
2) Superbad
Seth Rogen’s magnum opus Superbad tells the tale of two young buddies who try and lose their virginities before college. Though they will soon be torn apart by graduation and college, the two best friends never let anything come between them, including 12,382 kilometers of land and sea (coincidentally the distance between Vancouver and Indonesia).
1) Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
A cult classic and something great to watch while you’re on your period and just want to get the tears out, Homeward Bound is a beautifully told story of three animals who just want to come home. Two dogs and a cat face mountain lions, porcupines, and the Sierra Nevada, only to realize that the best place to be is right at home. In fact, any place other than home is probably scary and dangerous. I urge anyone who is reading this who is not at home—say, in Indonesia—to come back home immediately. Who needs places like the entirety of Southeast Asia, anyway?