You can do it! Definitely! I swear!
By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor
Sorry about last week, readers! I was feeling some kinda way. I hope I can make up for it this week when I look up to your stars to see your startlingly positive horoscopes! Only nice things, I swear! Friends again? Please?!
Aries
You go, Aries! Weâre heading straight into your season, so youâre gonna be all revved up for that thing youâre gearing up to do. And itâs going to be GREAT. Would I lie to you?!
Taurus
Things are really coming up Taurus! Everything is going to go your way. Remember that daunting task that youâve been dreading? Donât worry, because itâs going to completely dissipate by midweek. Itâs going to be easy and breezy from here on out.
Gemini
The best things are yet to come, Gemini! Youâre going to get a burst of good news by the end of the week. Until then, try and keep your head above water by surrounding yourself with positive influences.
Cancer
Though youâll have a bit of a stumble in the beginning of the week, donât let yourself fall! Things will keep moving with momentum until you wonât even remember what got you down in the first place. Remember to be kind to yourself!
Leo
Big moves are coming your way! Your energy makes it feel like anything is possible. Keep working towards your goalsâtheyâre all within your grasp!
Virgo
To combat any blues, surround yourself with your best and brightest to boost your spirits! Your friends love your company, so take advantage of any spare time they may have to chill with them as much as possible.
Libra
Yeah, yeah. Good stuff is in your future, et cetera, et cetera. Everything is going to be great and youâll have the âBest Week of Your Lifeâ like, ever. You get the point.
Scorpio
Itâs hard being positive! I know, people think Iâm âtoo meanâ and sometimes I can be a âhuge bitch.â But what people donât understand is Iâm just trying to keep it real. And in todayâs society, I think that really means something. Donât you?
Sagittarius
So maybe Iâm a little critical of others. So what? Donât you think people deserve to know what I think? Is my voice any less valid just because I donât package it in a more palatable way? Donât you think thatâs a little reductive?
Capricorn
So youâre saying people donât want to hear critiques when they look for their horoscope? So I have to keep giving them little blips of self-esteem to make them feel better every week? Why do I have to fill that void for them?!
Aquarius
Yeah, I signed a work contract. But itâs not, like, binding or anything. Whatâit is binding? Why would anyone let me sign a contract?! Well, what I am I supposed to do now?
Pisces
Everything is great and you are very sexy and fun! Everything is going to be just dandy for you this week. Take this time to really feel good and wholesome and as attractive as you want (or donât want! Your choice!) to be. You are amazing and beautiful and everybody loves you, even ME!
