Our spookiest sexy costumes yet!
By Mercedes Deutscher, Social Media Coordinator
Halloween is just around the corner, but alas, you still haven’t thought of anything to wear to the big Halloween party! You could just go in your sexy McNugget costume from last year, but that’s so old and played out. You yearn for a costume that’s both conversational and sexy, but also something that really suits you. You might even be considering staying home, but don’t fret! We’re back with another list of sexy costumes that will blow the minds of your friends and lovers!
Sexy Pre-Existing Condition
Just because Trumpcare won’t cover you, doesn’t mean that the bouncer won’t. You’ll dazzle everyone with how common you are, and people will be enraged that no one seems to accept you.
Sexy Transit Police Officer
No one really knows why this costume came to be, but that won’t stop you from getting everyone’s (Compass Card) numbers throughout the night.
Sexy Competitive Eater
Nothing says sex appeal like someone shoving a record-breaking 53 hot dogs down their esophagus as fast as they can. You’ll win hearts, along with the Mustard Belt, at the 78th Annual Hot Dog Eating Competition at the County Fair.
Sexy Szechuan Sauce
Last year we brought you the Sexy McNugget costume, and there’s no better way to pair it than with Sexy Szechuan Sauce. You’ll be a limited-edition star! People will fight over you, and offer hundreds of dollars for you to dip into their conversation.
Sexy Justin Trudeau
You’ll win everyone over at the party in this sexy ensemble! Charm your way through the night by promising real change for Canadians, and then giving them all real heartbreak instead!
Sexy Second Amendment
You’ll be so hot in this, it’s scary! Just make sure to give your southern neighbors a big spook now and then. It’s okay, you’ll be so alluring no one will really get mad about it, and if they do they’ll forget about your spook the following week.
It’s like you’re wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all. Stupid Sexy Flanders costume.